The Top 10 Fictional Movie Sports Teams | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Sports

The Top 10 Fictional Movie Sports Teams

396
The Top 10 Fictional Movie Sports Teams

[EDITOR'S NOTE: Dimitri Skoumpourdis co-wrote the following story with Nic Cotten.]

Ever wondered what the greatest fake sports team in movie history is? No? Too bad. We made the list anyway. 

10. T.C. Williams Titans (Remember the Titans)

One of the most inspirational movies of our age, Remember The Titans broke boundaries and was, in general, a badass movie. However, there is very little humor here, and let's be honest: that's what this is all about.

9. Air Bud (Air Bud movies)

No interracial, desegregated team can beat a 4-sport varsity golden retriever. This dog hit more threes with his snout than Larry Bird in his entire NBA career. And he never wore shoes. How did he not break an ankle? He had four ankles to get broken. 

Need a new slot wide receiver on your flag football team? Well the neighborhood dog happens to have better hands than Chad Ochocinco. Is your baseball team batting average unsatisfactory? Well there is a dog who is the second coming of Barry Bonds (and we're talking 'roid rage Bonds). These movies make no sense whatsoever, but damn I would love to throw down an alley oop with Air Bud.

8. Little Giants (Little Giants)

This band of misfit kids proved that nerds are better at football than jocks. (No, wait, that can't be right because I never made the football team.) Either way, the Icebox is a better middle linebacker than DJ Welter, and the "Annexation of Puerto Rico" is the greatest play in football history.

7. Mean Machine (The Longest Yard)

The Longest Yard combines all the necessary qualities of legendary sports cinema: underdog story, vengeance and Nelly. Not many things are more entertaining than watching Terry Crews play a character named "Cheeseburger Eddie" and this movie gets extra points for sneaking Burt Reynolds in as a shoutout to its 1974 predecessor.

6. Tigers (Kicking and Screaming)

This movie taught us that in addition to good coaching, all a soccer team needs to be successful is two ethnic deli workers, a small Asian boy mothered by two lesbians and a blue tiger-striped track suit.

5. Mighty Ducks (Mighty Ducks movies)

I didn't even know what hockey was when I first watched this movie and I'm still not sure I do. Regardless of your knowledge for the sport, we all love this movie despite the fact that it is about a high-powered attorney ruining his legal career with a DUI before eventually playing minor league hockey for the rest of his life. Sometimes greatness can't be explained.

4. The team from The Sandlot

First of all, everyone has a friend who looks like one of the Sandlot characters, and "You're killing me Smalls!" may be the most quotable sports movie line in eternity. As a team, the starting nine from The Sandlot had everything except for an official team name: a fat catcher, too much chewing tobacco, a signed baseball, a little squirmy kid stealing kisses from hot lifeguards and a crazy kid who could only say "Yeah yeah." 

But let's get real: Who let an old blind guy have a monster bear-dog directly adjacent to the kid's baseball park? How was that a good idea?

3. Average Joe's Gymnasium (Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story)

No great hero is complete without a villain that stands above them, seemingly indestructible. Therefore, we must give praise to the Globo Gym Purple Cobras. The team of White Goodman, Blade, Laser, Blazer, Michele and Fran Krstinsfzxwxzxa (spelling may be off) made the Patches O’Hoolihan (RIP) squad become the heroes the world deserved. It truly is an inspiration seeing a team of everyday people and a pirate win a championship. As a great man once said, “Bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see if it works out for him.” 

2. Tune Squad (Space Jam)

Before you get too riled up about this ranking, consider the fact that this team was nothing without Michael Jordan. Bugs Bunny was too horny to sink a layup while Yosemite Sam, Wile E. Coyote and the Tasmanian Devil were more concerned with destruction than basketball fundamentals. People also tend to overlook the most egregious performance-enhancing drug scandal in the modern era when Bugs distributes steroid water to the team at halftime.

Even still, this is the most 90's movie ever created and will always hold a special place in our hearts. It also gets bonus points for making the Shawn Bradley Monstar contribute nothing of value other than a ready opponent to dunk on.

1. Flint Tropics (Semi-Pro)

Love. Me. Sexy. You may be upset that Space Jam is not number one, but you may also be a jive turkey. When we look at the greatest general managers in sports history, we must consider that the Tropics traded a probably broken washing machine for a championship-winning, veteran starting point guard. Talk about your trade rapes!

We also propose the NBA open a wing in the Hall of Fame for the “Best Player/Coach/GM” dedicated to the one and only Jackie Moon. Off the court, the Tropics provided sports media with two of the greatest announcers in history: Dick Pepperfield and the alcoholic Lou Redwood. The moral of this theatrical masterpiece is that when the going gets rough, slap on some eyeliner for the cameras and SOMEBODY HIT SOMEBODY!

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Relationships

10 Facts All People In A Large Family Can Confirm During The Holiday Season

The holiday season can be the best and most stressful time of the year, especially when more people are involved.

1471
kids jumping

The holidays are full of lights, sweets, sweaters, and your favorite movies. There's nothing quite like this period from the beginning of December through January. Christmas, Hanukkah, and New Years. The fun of it all.

I don't know about you but with my large Italian family something is always going on during this season. It can be the most wonderful time of the year while also being the most hectic. These are a few things you know if your family is anything like mine during this time.

Keep Reading...Show less
10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over
reference.com

To those who celebrate, you just spent an entire day cooking an elaborate meal with all of your favorite foods. You probably ate your body weight in pumpkin pie and mashed potatoes. What happens now? Oh yea, Christmas. It’s time to take out all of the decorations and Christmas themed things that have been sitting in the attic since last year; it’s time to make a reappearance. So, here are 10 things that happen the second Thanksgiving is over.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

18 Things I Want To Do Now That I'm 18

I'm technically an adult, so I'm legally required to live a little, right?

4602
Happy Birthday Cake

For the entirety of my high school career, I was always seen as the goody-two-shoes. I never got in trouble with a teacher, I kept stellar grades, and when I wasn't doing extracurricular activities, I was at home studying. Even when I did go out, it was usually with a bunch of fellow band geeks. The night would end before 11:00 PM and the only controversial activity would be a fight based on who unfairly won a round of Apples-to-Apples when someone else clearly had a better card (I promise I'm not still holding a grudge).

Now that I'm officially an adult, I want to pursue some new things. I want to experience life in a way that I never allowed myself to do prior to entering college. These are the years that I'm supposed to embark on a journey of self-discovery, so what better way to do that than to create a bucket list?

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics

The holiday classics that shaped my life

2830
10 Life Lessons from Christmas Classics
Flickr

The holiday season is full of stress, debt, and forced conversation. While we rush through the month of December, it's important to take a step back and enjoy the moments before they're gone. Most families love to watch Christmas movies, but these beloved films provide more than entertainment. Here are 10 life lessons that I've learned from the holiday classics we watch every year.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

202219
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments