The top then doggo memes explained via informercial style.
10: Bumblebee Doggo
Have you ever wanted to start your own bee farm, but were too afraid of the bee stings? Wel now there's a fix! Introducing the Bumblebee Doggo! This doggo will not only gather pollen and turn it into honey, but he will also lick the honey off the side of the honey jar and keep it nice and clean for you! Although sometimes he can be a little aggressive, there's no need to worry; his bark is much worse than his sting. Call toll free to order one now!
9: Bean Bag Doggo
Have you ever wanted to cuddle up on a big sack full of tiny beads that dig into your skin, but you couldn't because regular bean bags were too boring? Well now you can! Introducing the Bean Bag Doggo! After a long hard day at work, you can come home and plop down on your very own Bean Bag Doggo! The Bean Bag Doggo features an unexplainable self-warming phenomenon(known as Mammalia), squishier features, and even a massage option if you irritate him enough. Call now and we'll ship you another one free!*
(*Only the bean bag is free, shiping/handling/internal organs must be paid for seperately.)
8: Brocco Doggo
Tired of finding bits of broccoli scraped under your children's potatoes? Sick of watching good vegetables go to waste? Well now, your kids can eat their food AND play with it! Meet the Brocco Doggo! After dinner time, your kids can grab a bottle of ranch dressing and cuddle with the Brocco while watching a movie, picking of small pieces and eating them while entranced by whatever Disney Junior has released most recently(the last episode of Sophia the First was pretty intense, btw).
But that's not all! Call now and you'll receive the Tomato Doggo
o
FREE! Just pay seperate processing and handling.
7: Longo Doggo
Are you tired of your dog walking away while your trying to play with her fur? well now you'll never have to worry about that again! Say hello to the Longo Doggo! With the Longo Doggo, all you need to do is walk to every place in the house that you like to rest, and call your doggo to your side. You'll never have to worry about him walking away again, because you'll always be able to reach him! Just remember, watch where you step, because that carpet may actually be a part of your dog!
6: VERY Smart Doggo
Are you tired of cleaning up after your pets? Do you hate having to tell them many times before they finally obey you? Introducing the Smart Doggo! This Doggo has been classically trained on how to take care of himself and conduct himself as an adult, with no supervision. Any time he poops, he knows to clean it up and throw it in the toilet. Maybe if you're feeling sad, he'll sit and counsel with you and teach you how to do life better because he is a licensed coulselor and teacher. Call now and we'll send him an extra pair of useless glasses and this
Stylish tweed sweater for FREE!
5: Turtle Doggo
Have you always wanted a turtle but never wanted to deal with the smelly tank? Well now you can have it your way, with the Turtle Doggo! The Turtle Doggo offers all the joy of a regular turtle with none of the mess! Call now to receive a second shell with your choice of sportsteam on it for FREE!*
(*Your sports team choice will require you to purchase an additional $1,000.00 of merchandise for your Turtle Doggo to complete the order.)
4: Rhymo Doggo
Have you ever been too stumped to write a poem and continue your career as an artist with no chance of survival? The Rhymo Doggo might be just the thing you need! This Doggo, who shakes constantly from a high fear of rejection, will do certain activities around the house(e.g. above) to inspire you to write better poems! Call now and we'll include a first-print edition of The Pupper By Edgar Allen Poe.
3: Big Jumpo Doggo Not the Bork Bork Kind
Have you ever wanted a pet kangaroo but were bummed out because it's illegal in most countries? Well now there's an alternative solution! Meet the Big Jumpo Doggo Not the Bork Bork Kind™! The BJDNBBK is a new breed of Doggo with all the characteristics of a regular kangaroo(no barking, high jumping, professional boxing champion), only this doggo is completely legal in every country in the world(except Australia; they claim it is too similar to their breed, Hoppy Doggo Not Woofer Type, that is native to their lands and have thus outlawed the BJDNBBK altogether). Call now and receive a pair of boxing gloves and replaceable pouch FREE!
2: Mayor Doggo
Are you tired of cats being in charge of your government? Well now you can change that with Mayor Doggo! Mayor Doggo is a dog who will rewrite your entire personal constitution to be more focused on the important things, like bones. Vote for Mayor Doggo today!
1: Doctor Doggo
If you are suffering from an illness and are unable to receive the attention you need, call Doctor Doggo. For a small fee of a few unnecessary bones*, Doctor Doggo will "treat" your every need! Call now and receive a free consultation!
(*All 206 bones in the body will be necessary and will need to be paid before the treatment commences.)
