Too many thoughts.
Too many mistakes.
Too many “I’m not good enough.”
Too many “I can’t do this.”
Too many scars to prove that I wasn’t okay.
Too many times I’ve told myself I’m better.
Too many times I wish I could go back and stop myself from making the mistake in self-harming.
Too many times I wished I was not on this planet anymore.
Too many times I’ve doubted everything about myself.
Too many times I let setbacks get to me.
Too many times I didn’t realize my strength.
Too many times I wanted to give up.
Looking back on these past few months and realizing how far I have come is amazing. I can’t say I woke up one day, and I was magically better. But I found the strength to fight and get better. I look back on last semester, and I wish I could change a few things but this semester is a whole new start. Having a different mindset this time is going to be so much better. I have a plan in my head for this semester; and I know I need to care about my classes more. I need to study more, I need sleep more, I need to have a better outlook on this semester. I’m so excited to come back and I can’t wait to see how this semester plays out. I want to be able to look back at this semester and not regret as much as I did last semester.
Here’s me saying the time I took to get better was one of the best decisions I’ve made. I needed to find the motivation to get through every day. I needed to just take a step back from everything and realize how great life is. I needed to have something to turn on inside me for me to get better and that was not easy to come by. But I’m so happy I found It because I appreciate life so much more now. I can see more positives than I could before. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel that I thought didn’t exist. I can wake up every day with a smile on my face and actually say I’m happy. Here’s to realizing how much better life is when you’re smiling.
