Less is more.

We hear that term a lot "Use less product on your face so you don't overstimulate your skin", "use less shampoo", "less pillows are more comfy", "Talk less it makes you look mysterious", "Use less perfume you smell like a stripper" ....... ok that last one aside we are constantly told when we don't overdo things the results are generally better.

I learned a valuable lesson this past year pertaining to this subject and sadly it took learning it the hard way to truly understand its meaning. Why is it so serious? Well it involves people. Actually its about too many people being involved in one relationship.

We are all guilty of seeking approval or advice from out friends and family for our relationships. BUT the problem is we would rather get advice from people who virtually know less than half of the story in stead of working it out with person who is the other half of the relationship. And then we LISTEN to the advice of our the people who aren't in the relationship!

So the 1st confession for this week is:

"I involve too many people in my personal relationships."

Its great to have that close knit group of family and friends that make up a strong support system. You need to have people like that in your life to keep from going insane. Or just to enjoy your life and be yourself with. Naturally when something wonderful or exciting happens you can't wait to tell them! Same goes for when something bad happens.

I learned from experience though that no matter how much you love your mother, your sisters, or your best friends that they have their relationships and you have yours. You can value their opinions but that doesn't mean it should dictate your relationship. I made the rookie mistake of telling my mum and best friends everything that was going on when things weren't going so well. You need to vent, someone to talk to and advice to keep sane so you turn to those closest to you. We all do it. Now lying is not my forte so instead of "We didn't work out" or some generic answer like that, I give my trademark sarcasm a free run at dishing out the details.

The bad news is that while you feel better telling them your innermost feelings at the time, that instant satisfaction becomes a bad investment. In the future when you have a change of heart, get over your heartache or makeup with the person you were upset with, your Scooby Gang members are still very much stuck with the impression said person is a heartbreaker and not good enough for you. See the problem here?

Now I have learned to keep my mouth shut. Too many voices involved with my relationship effects it in a negative way. There are only two opinions that matter and they are yours and your significant other's. Communicate, talk to each other, be fearless, have a voice for what you want and what you don't want, this is the rest of your life we're talking about!

But..... As it turns out people get pretty upset when you don't take their advice, or listen to them. Even if it meant abandoning your happiness.

So things bring us to confession #2:

"I get so annoyed when people don't take my advice."

Is that hypocritical? Absolutely it is. You have to learn to pick and choose your battles. Always being right, always being the best, always being the smartest, always being the center of attention is not exactly a good trait. Sometimes you just have to lighten up. Despite your best efforts, you will never know everything. Thats OK! Just because someone does not handle a situation the same way you would is not grounds for getting annoyed. You can give the best advice in the world but sometimes people just need to learn for themselves. When they do, you can have the satisfaction of saying "Told ya so" and they can join you on your throne of wisdom.

Confession #3:

"I get both annoyed and flattered when people say I don't look my age."

While talking with my English professor with two other peers one girl mentioned she was getting married and the teacher asked how old she was. She replied "22", as we congratulated her I mentioned I wasn't even thinking about that until after I was done with my degrees. By now I should know when to keep my damn mouth shut but I don't think thats a lesson I will ever learn in its entirety.

Prof: "You have plenty of time! How old are you?"

"Me: "28."

*Insert sound of professor's jaw hitting the floor*

He starred at me for a good two minutes with his mouth hanging open in shock.

Me: "Yeah..... I get that reaction a lot."

I now what your thinking, "thats flattering!". Right? Well yeah it can be. On this occasion it was. I know I'll appreciate it when I'm 40 and look 30 but sometimes you realize that people don't take you very seriously when you look young. They assume you lack knowledge or experience and some will talk down to you.

MY personal favorite is when people tell me "You should start thinking about having kids soon. Once you hit 35 its harder to have kids and theres a higher risk of defects."

This is what you deal with as a 28 year old unmarried woman. Because my womb is vacant I should start thinking about filling it. Not fulfilling my goals and dreams and living my life the way I want but to conform to the ideals of everyone else around me.

By now, at 28, you have learned not to do drugs, not to be a bully and not to jump off a bridge just because everyone else is doing it. However, life is not without its nasty little surprises and getting pregnant is the peer pressure for the late twenties.

So this weeks confessions can be described as maturity lessons. My maturity is debatable but the lessons are sound. Do whats best for you. Sometimes life has its depressing moments just like a sunny day gets a passing cloud to cast a shadow. If you are patient eventually it passes.