A few weeks ago at my local YMCA, I went to run on a treadmill wearing leggings and a long sleeve shirt.
It got pretty hot in the workout area (what they call the Wellness Center), so I took off my shirt and was then wearing a sports bra and leggings. I was told that I was dressed "inappropriately" and needed to put on a shirt or leave.
I put on a shirt, much to the dismay of the annoyed man next to me, who stuck up for me, calling it "ridiculous" that I couldn't work out in whatever I wanted. I agreed, so I sent an email asking what exactly the dress code is and why it's in place, since I'd previously worked at the YMCA for over two years and never heard of or seen a dress code policy before.
This is the answer I received:
We do have a policy on dress code, which is "no inappropriate attire". That can mean something different to everyone. Here is the Wellness Center we have deemed that midriffs showing, shirts with too much cut away, and shorts that are too short or not appropriate. One big thing is we want to eliminate is skin to bench/ mat contact because of skin infections. With being in a Y which is family orientated that is where the other reasoning/ guidelines came from. We want everyone to feel comfortable here.
The response got me thinking about dress codes, and what restricting the clothing people wear means for our body image as a society, what it means for how we view the person underneath those clothes as a society, and many other things.
After much consideration, here is the email I sent back:
Yeah, I can see where that is a difficult policy to make a rule for! However, I think that something about the policy needs to change, because before I started working out at the Y I looked and looked for a dress code policy and that's all I found as well, so I felt like what I was wearing would be fine, as I felt that it was appropriate attire for running.
When I was asked to change into a more "appropriate" outfit that day, I immediately started to tear up.
I felt ashamed of my body, like there was something wrong with it. Was I being told to cover up because no one wanted to look at my stomach? Was I being told this because I weighed too much? I felt like a "bad" person for dressing a way I thought was appropriate, and I felt awkward because I felt I was being inappropriately sexualized.
I felt ashamed of my body because being told to put a shirt on in the wellness center aligned with what women (and men, but to a lesser extent) are consistently told from day one, that our bodies are never good enough.
I was in the wellness center training for a run I was really excited for. I got up early to improve my health - to keep my heart healthy, to improve my mood, and to stay fit - if you ask me, that's a good role model for anyone.
The Y being "family oriented" shouldn't be a reason people have to wear shirts in the wellness center, because wearing a shirt or not, I think I'm a good role model for kids and families, as a person who goes to school, works a lot, and still finds time to exercise and recognize the importance of health and fitness.
Like I mentioned before, I also felt inappropriately sexualized.
This is because although I'm hearing that the policy is for both men and women to wear shirts, I have frequently seen males not wearing a shirt in the wellness center, or wearing such small "bro tanks" that they were wearing significantly less than what I was wearing that day.
In fact, I often see men walking shirtless in the lobby, something I'd never consider doing because there's no need to do it, as there is in the wellness center.
I also see older women in shorts that don't fit what the dress code describes, and have seen older women wearing cutoff shirts, similar to what I was wearing that day. Seeing other people allowed to break the dress code makes me feel like I was asked to change specifically because of my body itself.
I feel like as a young woman, I was chosen because my body is the kind of body, more than men and older women, that is sexualized.
It feels to me like a woman my age can't possibly be wearing a sports bra and leggings to work out because it restricts movement less and lets sweat out, it has to be so everyone will stare at her.
It makes me sad because although I feel that my body is over sexualized everywhere I go, as I'm sure all women can relate to, I never thought I'd feel sexualized and ashamed of my body at my own YMCA, a place I felt safe at.
The reason I was wearing a sports bra in the wellness center in the first place was that it's extremely hot in there, which anyone who has worked out in there can attest to. I actually have started running outside even when it's raining just to avoid having to run in there with a shirt on because I get so warm.
I understand the reasoning where the wellness center wouldn't want people to lift weights or lay on the benches with lots of skin showing, and if that's truly the reason behind the policy, I think the policy should be more enforced if anything.
Like I said before, I've seen many men without shirts having lots of bench-to-skin contact, so if that's the issue, it really needs to be better regulated. I have no experience in the matter, but if anything has been spread through skin-to-bench contact, it needs to be much more regulated.
However, running on the treadmill doesn't have my skin come in contact with anything, so it really feels like to me the dress code policy is in place because of the Y being "family oriented".
In my opinion, we need to be teaching young men and women to be proud of their bodies, not for what they look like but for what they can do. I wasn't wearing my shirt in the wellness center because I was training for a half marathon, something a year ago I could never have imagined completing! I love my body for being able to do that race, and for being able to run that far.
I want my future kids to go to a gym where they can wear whatever they want because they're so focused on what they're accomplishing, they aren't thinking about what anyone else is wearing.
We send so many messages to the children in our community that their body is for other people to look at, that their body is something to be judged, that they shouldn't love what it looks like, and I'm done with that narrative. We need to tell kids that any body is a great body, as long as the inside of it is a good person trying to improve themselves, especially at the gym.
I'm probably overreacting, and I get it - why can't I just wear a shirt and move on? I can, and I will from now on, but it's the principle of the matter. Even if nothing will change from me saying any of this, I wanted to share my experience. Because it wasn't fun, and I remember it every single time I work out at the YMCA.
That day made me feel ashamed of my body instead of proud, it made me feel like everyone is looking at me sexually which I never did before, and it makes me feel unwelcome at my own YMCA, three things I'm sure the policy doesn't aim to do, which is why I believe it needs to change.
Since I truly believe the Y is a place that wants people of all abilities, looks, ages, etc. to feel welcome, I have a suggestion: if the wellness center won't consider opening their policy, which I strongly suggest they do, at least post it around the wellness center, so people are aware of what it is.
I tried to look up the policy before going to work out without a shirt and found nothing telling me not to, then felt really hurt and embarrassed when I was told to change in front of the entire wellness center.
I hope nothing in this email was offensive because I'm really not trying to upset anyone or disagree with the Y. I just don't want anyone else to have the experience I had, because I adore the YMCA.
I have previously worked in multiple departments and working at the Y for over two years and it was one of my greatest jobs I've ever held because of how many people the YMCA helps and how central they are to the functionality of this community.
I just think we could be even better, and don't think anyone who made the policy probably realized how it could make people feel, so I wanted to share my story.
Lastly, I'll include a picture of what I was wearing that day when I was asked to change, to put this all in perspective. I think once you view the picture of me wearing running leggings and a running sports bra, you'll find it very appropriate attire for running.
In case you're wondering, the YMCA never responded.
Like I stated in my email, I'm probably making way too big of a deal of one small incident, but it is the tiny messages we send daily through these incidents that make up how our society thinks.
Dress codes of all kinds, whether at the gym or at a high school, hurt people for the many reasons listed in my email. Telling people they need to cover up only places the blame for sexualization of certain populations onto those people themselves.
Telling people they need to cover up makes them feel like their body is something to be ashamed of and that what's important about their body is how it looks, rather than what it can do.
Telling people they need to cover up teaches children these lessons as well, who should instead be learning how to change the world through their healthy bodies filled with love and respect for other people - because all kids are born with that, until our society teaches them not to.
There's no reason to be ashamed of your body, and I urge everyone to protest and raise awareness around every dress code or policy that sends the message that you should be.
The YMCA may forever hold this policy, and so will many high schools, but we can at least be aware of what messages it sends and educate ourselves and others to understand the implications of dress codes, even as we unwillingly follow them.
