"The moment you feel you have to prove your worth to someone is the moment you absolutely and utterly walk away." - Alyssa Harris

We've all done it. Relationships and significant others are all about trial and error. We're humans who all have different wants and needs. Some people love starting over with a new person while others fear it. Personally, I've never been one to look too much into my future. I think a lot of it stems from having my closest friends being guys. I always have someone to turn to, I get honest advice and I have a strong support system. However, it also stems from knowing I make terrible decisions regarding men. I learned at a young age that when you open yourself up to vulnerability, you get deeply hurt. Which leads me to this article.

It can be exciting to to meet someone new and start going with the flow. The rut we get stuck in is when we know this isn't right. If something doesn't feel right early, get out. If you're only being treated as an option, it's against the odds that "things will change." This goes for either gender. If you want to be with someone, you will treat them as more than an option. Now, I'm not saying you should have to spend every waking second together or talking to each other. The real world isn't that easy. We grow up, get jobs and have responsibilities, and it makes our time more precious. You can't expect to have someone's full attention 24/7. However, you should at least average a single conversation within a 24-hour period.

In my generation, the term "talking" has become a norm. This is the stage before dating. It's personally my favorite. Let's be honest, I have a lot of issue with the whole relationship thing, anyway. I think it's important to understand that when you're talking, that's just it. You're getting to know one another and figuring out if this could work. If someone is serious about getting to know you, they won't entertain several others on the side. If they do, you aren't dating, so no matter all the nice things they said, you can't get upset. That's the whole point in this gray area we call talking.

Once you've moved on from talking and into dating, it's a completely different game. I sit back and watch all these "couples" cheating constantly. Maybe it's my generation? Maybe it's the area? Or, it could be a lack of respect for others and one's self-worth. It's only my opinion, but what's the point in being with someone if you're just going to entertain others? I fully believe in a few statements that should be kept in the back of your mind if you're in a situation like this:

"If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."

"Once a cheater, always a cheater."

Now, I'm sure these can vary with the person. But if someone wants to explore a different avenue than the one they're in, shouldn't they respect the other person enough to get out first?

I have two specific friends who I always hear a statement from: "But that's not what he said. He said all these really nice things..." I will tell you, I honestly roll my eyes at them. Anyone can say anything. There are girls who do the same thing to guys. This isn't a gender-bias issue. But if you're ready for the cold hard truth on that one, they don't want any ties to a relationship. Actions will always speak louder than words. If they're saying one thing and acting the complete opposite, I guarantee you at least three other guys or girls are hearing those same words. It's the name of the game.

I don't have some magical answer to tell you how to deal with these things. I can't tell you the right words to avoid. There isn't a built-in lie detector in humans. However, I can tell you that if something doesn't feel right, it isn't. Always go with your gut instinct. Don't believe every word you hear. Just watch the actions of others first. You'ill get hurt time and time again, you're young. But I promise you it's only temporary pain. You won't hurt from this same person forever. Give it a little bit and then you'll realize it probably isn't even that big of a loss.