Today it's the norm but once upon a time it was frowned upon.
In our society it's becoming perfectly normal to meet your boyfriend or girlfriend, fall in love, and then move in together. Before, this was called "living in sin" but now no one thinks twice about it. Does cohabitation work? Should you test the waters before you jump into marriage? Or was there a good reason why it used to be so forbidden.
Believe it or not studies have shown that cohabitation may be damaging towards relationships and marriages. Today it seems normal to find someone that you like and then move in together. People look at it as you have to test drive the car before you buy it kind of thing and marriage is a big commitment so why not test it out first before making that big decision?
Couples are moving in together after college thinking it is a good idea, so is it? A survey showed that majority of young adults in their 20s will live with a romantic partner. Cohabitation can be a way to figure each other out see what makes the other person tick. Living together before marriage gives romantic partners a chance to see if they are compatible or not. Well, if you are already questioning whether it is going to work and feel you need to test it out first, chances are it isn't going to work. We have this idea in our head that in order to get married we need to live together first to see if we can make it actually work or not but part of getting married is taking each other for better or for worse... No wonder why we have such a hard time with commitment today.
There have been numerous studies showing that cohabitation leads to a higher chance of divorce and less problem solving skills. So maybe those generations before us were on to something... Or is it today, unrealistic to not move in together? With our overly busy schedules and our society changing and evolving, moving in together has become convenient. Plus you probably already sleep over one another's place every night. But does the convenience and easy access to one another make the spark fade?
Believe it or not there is evidence that cohabitation has some negative side effects. Those negative outcomes called cohabitation effects, show that living together before marriage leads to less satisfaction in marriages or doesn't lead to marriage at all. Cohabiting couples tend to have poorer quality relationships and a lack of commitment towards one another and they tend to have lower standards for who they are shacking up with compared to what they would want in a spouse. So with all the evidence why do we continue to cohabitate.
Well our society is changing and not getting married along with divorce have become more acceptable. The fear of not fitting in with the norm isn't as strong as it used to be and ceremonies, tradition and conversation aren't as popular anymore. With that couples skip the step of talking about what they expect from a relationship, their goals, values, and why they would want to live together. Couples have started to skip those important steps and use the excuse "it just happened". It's also extremely expensive to live alone nowadays so splitting rent and other costs with someone makes living much easier.
Cohabitation seems to be getting more and more popular. Let's face it, cohabitation has become sort of the norm with young adults in today's society. So how do you cohabitate with your romantic partner and not suffer from cohabitation effects? Well for starters communication is important. Before you move in together talk about what you expect and your commitment level towards one another. If marriage is something you want discuss whether cohabitation is going to be the first step towards marriage or if living together is going to be temporary. When challenges arise you cannot run away from them; cohabitation tends to make giving up easy. And keep the relationship interesting; becoming too comfortable too soon can be dangerous for a relationship.
However, there is something to be said about being traditional. If waiting until marriage to move in together is what you want to do then go for it. There is nothing wrong with being a little old-fashioned, old-fashion is sweet and we need more of it in today's world.
