When I was a kid I did not see color, I still don't. I never did and never do. I don't think about black, white or any shade in between. I am starting to think that people like me are becoming more and more rare. I, Hannah Paige Barnett, see the soul. I do not see color or what the color means or what the color does or any expectations of that specific color. I see actions. I see attitude. I see character, and i see pain. Let me tell you a little secret..ready?
We all have pain.
Pain from the past that haunts us every time we take a step, pain from the present that lurks around even our most wonderful dreams and pain sitting there waiting for us in our future.
Pain is something that everyone has in common, no matter the race, religion, political view or anything else that differentiates us. Do you want to know something else? If you cut open a man from every single ethnicity, they will all look the same. We all have lungs. We all have skin. We all have hearts, that feel everything. Everything you eat, everything you feel, everything you hear, every person you encounter, everything you see in the media, it all means something. All of it jumbles together to create meaning, to create memories, and to form you into who you are today right at this very moment.
I cannot begin to even describe how much it irks me to see this country turning on itself. You may not be a religious person, but it is crystal clear that there is evil in this world. Seriously, just look around. I bet you won't even have to walk that far out of your front door to see something else terrible happening. I thought things were bad politically. I mean, good gosh, people were, and still are, at each others throats with all the political disagreement. Whatever happened to the day when we used our different views, skills and abilities to bring us together and make us stronger as a whole? Oh no, but the political views, no those were nothing compared to just what has happened in the past weeks. We didn't know what we had coming for us.
What happened to Alton Sterling, the Dallas police and every single other life that was lost is absolutely gut-wrenchingly horrible. I wish I had magical powers and could just bring everyone back and fix all the problems in the world. Considering I can barely lift the 20 pound bar at the gym, I really do not see that happening and it is just a dream. I cannot imagine the pain that these families are dealing with, and struggling with anger, well, that is just normal. To all of you who have lost someone, I am so sorry, from the bottom of my heart.
You know though, I can relate to your pain. Just last week, around the time all of this drama started heating up, I received a phone call from my dad informing me that something happened to my grandmother. "She stopped breathing," he said, "we don't know what is happening." it feels like you are watching a 1,000 mile per hour bus coming to you. It is nothing like hearing the actual words though, that they are gone. Once you hear that sentence it doesn't matter how long you stood there watching that bus speed towards you or how much warning you had. It is like your feet were stuck and all you could do was just stand there speechless and then bam! Just like that, you are hit, and you are down. What do you do? How do you react? You just lay there and try to breathe. So, believe me when i say I understand. No, my grandmother was not brutally murdered, and I am sure that is a whole other level of pain that I hope I never have to endure.
The funny thing is I actually started writing this article before any of that even happened with my grandmother, and once it did, I just had to put it aside for awhile. The week that has passed has given me some time to think, which isn't always a good thing. I was just thinking about how lost this state, Georgia is. How lost our country, and even the world is! If you can't see that, and you think everything is fine then I am not sure what fantasy land you're living in, but hit me up cause I would like to live in that kind of world.
I think somewhere deep down we all do, or have at one point, had this desire to save the world and fix all the problems. Although that is admirable thinking it just isn't possible for one person alone. The truth is we all need to focus on ourselves. What do you want to do with your life?
Do you want to sit there watching the news about how bad this country is or do you want to get up and go help the elderly lady of a different race across the street with her groceries?
Do you want to stoop down to the level of the people that you yourself are angry at, going around and harming people or do you want to go and help someone in need at a homeless shelter?
Do you want to sit there and complain about how messed up your life is or do you want to get up and do something about it?
You can only control yourself. That is something my daddy has been instilling into me my entire life, and it is one of the truest messages. I'll say it again, you can only control yourself. Until all of us of decide that we will focus on improving the character of our individual selves then this country, this world will never change. Once we improve ourselves, only then can we unite together to make a stronger force.
This country needs Jesus. Jesus is love. This country needs love. I think each and everyone of us have struggled with feeling unloved at some point or another. So today I challenge you to do something kind for someone else. Give that girl at the Starbucks you always go to a compliment about her cute hair that you always notice but never speak up about. Help load the trash for the man who always drives by your house every week without miss, who always seems a little grumpy but instead of taking it personally accept that he probably did not get breakfast and tell him to have a good day. Go bake cookies and give them out for free. Send a nice "good morning I hope you have a good day" text to that friend you haven't talked to in awhile, or give free hugs!
No one can do everything, but everyone can do something. So today choose to be kind, choose to leave the past in the past and work on creating a better future. Step up, be fearlessly positive.
Today, I challenge you to choose love.
In honor of my grandmother, I love and miss you so much.
