Nicholas Sparks once said “The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. And that's what you've given me. That's what I'd hoped to give you forever”
This is the love you continue to show me day in and day out. This is the way we both love. Although our love is messy, it is genuine, strong and rare. You have planted a fire in my heart. You have brought peace to my mind. You have brought me unquenchable happiness.
From the beginning, you chose me. Even when I pushed you away, you chose me. Even when I dated other people, you always made me your number one priority, making me feel like a queen daily. You heard how “happy” other people made me, and I know you faked your happiness for me. You knew it wouldn’t last because they never pursued me like you. You were even there when my ex and I broke up. I found out later you cancelled a date to be there for me and let me cry to you. Thank you for going out of your way to be there for me that night, and every night.
Even if it hurt you, you wanted me happy more than you wanted yourself happy. Even if it meant not being with you, you wanted what I wanted. Even though you knew you wanted to be with me, you accepted the push back I gave you time and time again. You respected ridiculous boundaries to keep obvious emotions outside of our “friendship,” which was a joke. We were never just friends. We loved each other from the beginning, I just made you work for it a little harder than the average guy. Thankfully, you’re anything but average.
You always go out of your way to make me feel loved, even when I do not deserve it. You have always turned your sound on your phone at night just in case I need you. You have went out of your way when I was having an anxiety or panic attack to comfort me, no matter how late it has been. You hold me when I cry, and laugh with me when I am overflowing with joy. You know my weakest points, but you only tell people about my strongest. I recently saw a quote which describes us perfectly: “With you, I'm comfortable. I know I can talk about anything, or sit by your side in complete silence. You see me at my worst, but only talk about my best. I can be happy about my biggest achievements, while you know my deepest insecurities. I'm comfortable with you, and you should know that means everything to me.” You see and hear it all, yet you choose to love me. How extravagant and unexpected.
I have been with many different men, but nobody has ever loved me the way you do. You pursued me for months, even when I was dating other people. You still pursue me, and we’re together. I am sitting here surrounded by handwritten letters from you permeated with vulnerable, compassion-filled sentences. In one of the entries, you wrote “I can’t even imagine what life would be like without you. I may not be able to see the future me, but I can see the future us. The adventures, the love, the weirdness and the way we make each other better. I can tell you that the future me will never stop trying to win your heart. Will never stop showing you unconditional love. I will always support you and be by your side.” I am so undeserving of your love. I love you with my unconditional love, but your unconditional love is different than any I have ever experienced.
I waited over twenty years for you, and still made you wait for me even after we met and immediately bonded. Your persistence through the few months of making you wait, only proved to me you were worth the leap, as my friend describes it. You pursued me for months without knowing for sure if I would agree to give you a chance. Without knowing for sure if I would ever let you out of the friend-zone. Yet, here we are. We took the leap together.
Lastly, I want to thank you. Thank you for holding me at my weakest, and supporting me at my strongest. Thank you for always being there and never complaining. Thank you for always having your arms and door open for me, no matter what time of the day or night. Thank you for offering to do girly things with me, like get pedicures, when I’m having a bad day and everyone else seems to be busy. Thank you for always making life enjoyable. Although sometimes I feel like a burden to you, you always remind me this is what love does--it accepts another person in all of their forms. I appreciate you for everything you are and are not. I appreciate you for everything you do and do not do for me and for us. It does not go unnoticed. Thank you for fearlessly loving me in only a way you can. Thank you for giving me the honor of experiencing your unconditional love.
