Hello. I will start of by saying that this is not written for any individual institution but for all whom it may apply to. I write to you today angered, saddened, frustrated – and absolutely discouraged. I am appalled by the way you’ve been handling sexual assault cases. I am disgusted by the fact that you have allowed perpetrators to dehumanize victims because it makes you look bad. I know you don’t – and won’t – listen to me. I know I’m probably wasting both of our times but I am going to say what I have to say – even if you don’t like it.
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How can you go home after your shift is over and disconnect from your students? How can you remove yourself so much from us that you don’t worry about our safety while I have two people accused of sexual assault living in my building? How can you say that you care about your students when your image matters more than our safety? I know what you’re going to say: “Sexual assault is hard to prove – we’re doing the best we can.” But…are you?
Is the best you can really do just letting perpetrators stay on their teams because you don’t want to let one “bad decision” ruin their careers? Is it silencing victims with threats and questions that make them the bad guys because “they must’ve misinterpreted the situation”? Is it asking them to come to you before going to the hospital or the police? Is it asking them to sit across from their perpetrator so you can brush off the matter in a couple hours instead of spending any actual time investigating?
You know, one day I’ll leave your institution, and then you might be able to silence me. But for now, I know you’re asking why I’m so loud and passionate. Here’s why: I’m angry! I’m furious that a conglomerate of buildings is worth more than the people who pay to keep your institution alive. I’m angry that you withhold information on your site, that you refuse services, and you hire unqualified people to deal with a matter so serious.
I’m deeply troubled by the idea that in public you’ll advise us to come forward yet when it’s just us in a private room you’ll do whatever is in your power to silence us. You’re probably not listening – heck, you probably stopped reading after the first few lines – but I’m not done yet. If only for a second – a split second – I implore you to pay attention to what I say. All of you have kids, or parents, or siblings, or are yourself – quite obviously – human beings.
Think – for just one second – about this. It’s late at night and something terrible has just happened. You call your parents – or you get a call from your child – he/she has just been assaulted. You take a second and leave it in the capable hands of the administration. Want to know what happens next? Nothing. You get a phone call from your broken, scared child telling you there’s nothing anyone will do – because God forbid the institution suffer, even if a student did.
You encouraged them to report – and then you did nothing. The RA told the whole campus what happened except the Title IX committee. The Title IX committee brushed it off as something minor. The President made some general remark in public that when it came down to it meant nothing. The internet trolls mocked and retaliated and punished a victim who was brave enough to speak up.
One day I’ll graduate, and I’ll be a product from your institution – but I’ll also have to live with the fact that those perpetrators are products of your institution too. Think for a second – please, please do – and make amends. I will not be stopped and I will not be silence and once I walk out those doors never to return, I’ll pray you’ll have changed – even if it’s after my time.
