We are not asking to be held down against our will

We are not asking to be used as a sex toy as we are unconscious

We are not asking to be drugged or be taken advantage of when we have too many drinks

We are not asking to spend hours in a police station being questioned about what happened

We are not asking to pick you out in a line up and stare at you through the one way mirror

We are not asking to be poked and pried at the hospital by doctors completing a rape kit

We are not asking to be isolated away at the station from our friends because speaking with them hinders the case

We are not asking for doctors and interns to stare inside us as we already feel vulnerable, naked and afraid

We are not asking for nightmares every night because of the choices that you made

We are not asking to feel used, broken, disgusting and unloved

We are not asking to be talked about as the girl who was raped

We are not asking for others to accuse us of lying and wanting attention

We are not asking for you to walk away and hurt other women after us

We are not asking to take time off of school to recover from what happened

We are not asking to see a therapist every week for our PTSD

We are not asking to spend hours hunched over a toilet puking because the hospital gave us pills and shots to prevent anything you may have gave us

We are not asking to explain to our parents and loved ones what had happened to us

We are not asking to tell our significant other why we do not like to be touched

We are not asking for this new way of life that you have forced us to live

I WILL NOT apologize for being too graphic and dark. This is something that affects every 1-5 woman.

Just because it is not talked about doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.

This happens all the time yet women are constantly being forced to remain silent. Over 90% of rapes on college campuses go unreported. After I came out with my story, so many woman had talked to me and explained that the same thing had happened to them and they didn’t tell anyone or they never went to the police. It breaks my heart that they will never have justice and this is something that they will have to deal with for the rest of their lives while these perpetrators are walking around like nothing happened because only 18% of reported rape cases end in conviction.

If a woman tells you she was assaulted she does not need your accusations as to what she could have done different that night. She did not ask for it and she did not give consent. Only 6% of reported rapes are false reports. We do not need your advice on what we should have done or your doubt on if it happened. We need your support and your comfort.

I am here to tell you survivors that you are not experiences. You are not your choices. You are not disgusting. You are not used. You are not unloved and unwanted. Your feelings are valid and your stories demand to be heard.

And *** if you end up coming across this article and reading it, just know you didn’t break me. I am valuable, I am loved and my rape does not define me.

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