Relationships are like bridges, I think. Some you cross many times, some get burnt down and others just slowly fall without much provocation. It can be hard, however, when we aren’t the one doing the burning. Maybe even worse is when we are trying to repair a broken bridge while the other person is standing with a match, ready to set it ablaze at any moment. In my almost 21 years, I have had many people come in and out of my life. Some, I was better off for losing and others weren’t as easy to deal with. But if I had anything to say to all those who have left, it is this: thank you.

Thank you for making me realize what it feels like to have genuine people in my life. I may have never known what genuine and true friends were like with you. I’ve learned that a friend, when true and honest, is a precious thing to have in this world. So, if you’ve previously been my friend and left – whether it was after a betrayal or after just a falling out – I thank you, because I now treasure those who have stuck around.

Of course, there’s always those who fall into the category of family who have also left. If I have learned anything in the past several years it’s that sometimes family can break your heart more than anyone. But I’ve also learned that sometimes family isn’t always those who share a last name or blood line. To the family who decided I was no longer wanted or needed, just know that it’s okay because family is who is there for you and I have plenty of those people in my life.

To anyone who has left – friends, family, failed relationships – just know that I am happy. I don’t say this to throw it in your face or seem condescending. I just want you to know that life is good and your leaving doesn’t affect me anymore. It would be a lie to say that it didn’t used to or that it hasn’t changed me. Because both of those things are true; it’s just that it doesn’t hurt or anger me anymore. Happiness is something I think we have the ability to grant ourselves, at least in part. I have done just that for myself, without you, and I hope you do the same. With much truth and genuineness, I do hope you are happy.

For whatever reason you decided to walk out of my life, I hope you have found peace about it. Some of you walked away without reason or explanation. That’s okay. I have come to terms with the fact that it doesn’t matter why you left. It only matters that you did. You can tell a lot about a person in how they choose to leave you. But bitterness does not reside in my heart any longer. I left that emotion go and replaced in with being content and happy.

To those no longer in my life, know I still care about you and still pray for your well being. I wish you nothing but great things because that’s what I have found for myself. Whether our bridge burned down to ash, is shaky and needing repair, or simply just fell victim to the weathering of time, thank you. Thank you for being a path to lead me to new bridges and new opportunities. I think Uma Thurman summarizes it perfectly: “I still love the people I’ve loved, even if I cross the street to avoid them.”