To Those We Have Lost Too Soon | The Odyssey Online
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To Those We Have Lost Too Soon

I wish you were here everyday.

24
To Those We Have Lost Too Soon
Anne Lincoln Holibaugh

Dear ________,

Words cannot express the void I have felt everyday since you left us. Nothing feels the same. Deep down I feel this stinging pain filled with regret because of all the things I willingly left unsaid. If only I could bring you back, I'd tell you all you needed to hear. Until the day we meet again, I'll just have to tell you here.

Thank you for listening to me when no one else did.

Through all the years of feeling like my world was falling apart, you seemed to understand and be there when I just needed someone to talk to. Even if I just needed to vent or scream, you patiently stood there and listened although you probably had better things to do at the time. I will never forget the days we stood around for what seemed like hours and just talked. We talked about life, love, and anything else that came to our minds; somehow talking about nothing now feels like everything.

You hold such a special place in my heart.

I never told you this, and that is one of my biggest regrets. Despite how much you drove me crazy at times, I always knew you were someone who I could count on and turn to when I needed it most. Your big heart shined through it all. There are many days where I wish I could turn back time and just tell you how much you really mean to me, because you at least deserve that. No matter what happens or who I encounter, no one will be able to feel the emptiness that has lingered inside of me since we lost you. You're too special to be replaced.

I hope you can still be proud of me.

When I first told you about my aspirations for the future, you congratulated me and told me how proud of me you were. Even when people doubted me, you always embraced my dreams with open arms and cheered me on through it all. I always imagined that I would come home from school and tell you about how it was everything I ever wanted and everything you ever wanted for me. I want so badly to just tell you about everything; my classes, my friends, how good our football team is supposed to be this year...I'm not sure who else will appreciate those things like I know you would. Although you won't be home to greet me with open arms, I really hope you can see how well everything is going for me. More than that though, I hope I'm still making you proud wherever you are.

I miss you so much it hurts.

No matter how much time passes, missing you will never get easier. At first, it came as a shock and I was able to go on with a smile on my face. However, once reality hit, it became clear to me that this was something that would never go away. After a week I felt like I couldn't go on with my day knowing that you weren't able to go on with yours either. Time doesn't heal all, and I am not sure it ever will. I miss you more and more everyday.

While people can say you're in a better place, I simply cannot believe that. Through every new chapter and everyday of my life, I will always wish you were here to celebrate it all with me. I love you.


Love,

Someone Who Just Wants You Back


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