I am completely and utterly in the "I don't know" phase and it's stressing me out. I’m going to be so honest in telling you that currently the only thing I’m truly sure about is the fact that I will wake up tomorrow morning (let’s hope). To be perfectly honest, I’m still trying to figure out how I’m going to survive a week without my mother, none the less a year in college. Also, I still don’t know how to open up a can of tuna. I am very serious. I don’t know if it’s the can opener itself, but I am quite perfectly incapable. I also don’t know what I want to major in or quite specifically what I want as a career for the rest of my life. I’m not even sure about the comforter I picked out for college... and to top it all off it was expensive and I lost the receipt.
It’s that time where high school seniors are completely petrified (although we won’t admit it.) We walk around like we are so excited for college but the thought of moving away is terrifying. The excitement of a new life is great and all until you realize you’re leaving everything you've ever known behind. We are so confused and stressed out, we try to make it seem like we aren’t confused and stressed out. It’s that time of the year where everybody is trying to act like they know what they’re doing but nobody has a clue. Spoiler alert: It’s OK if you don’t know what you’re doing (I think).
And me? Well I’m just as confused as the rest of us. I think that when people can be honest with themselves everybody else confuses them with knowing what’s going on. I seriously have absolutely no clue what's going on and I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
What I’m trying to say is that I don’t know what’s happening currently or what will happen in the future. I’ve realized that worrying sick about it isn’t good for the soul. Maybe all you needed to hear this week is that it will be okay. This busy thing called life will eventually slow down enough for you to gather your thoughts before it picks up again. I wish I could say that I’m not confused, nervous or in the “I don’t know” stage of life but I can’t. I am in the phase where I have the whole entire world in front of me and I’m still trying to figure out what to do with it. I am in this phase where I understand the world needs changing, I just don’t know how. But most of all, I am in this phase where I am completely terrified of not accomplishing what I want to accomplish. I am terrified of waking up one day and realizing I hated my life and what I did with it. Imagine that. The best years of my life have not even started and I’m already scared of them.
I truly have no better outcome of this article or peice of advice to end with because I truley just do not know. So with that said, cheers to us! The people who literally have no clue what’s going on. I know people like me are out there somewhere (by that I mean all of us, I hope).
Until this phase passes, I plan to wake up every morning with a open mind, steady heart and a large ice coffee extra shot of expresso light ice dash of crème. But then again, I just don't know.
