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To The Youngest Child

An open letter to Pokémon Go.

11
To The Youngest Child
Pokémon Go

To the only reason I ever go out in public, and one of many reasons nobody believes I'm past the ninth grade:

Thank you for responding to this epidemic of boredom that has plagued us. We needed more things to argue about, and more excuses to leave our responsibilities. We need something to serve as a social pin cushion when we bring up the *gestures with large hands* huge election and every reason to leave our futures behind (though I'll admit that I'm still sore about losing my prized Scyther to an in-game glitch).

This is what so many people have been saying about you. It's horrible, isn't it? We see them in the streets with phones glued to the tips of their noses, but they were already there in the first place. Surely this phenomenon has caused the casualties of phone users in unfamiliar areas to rise and this is a great concern, but these same people would have hurt themselves in other ways. These same people who have walked into PARKED VEHICLES and wrapped Mom's minivan around a telephone pole have had ample avenues through which they could divert their attention. In 2009, it was birds and slingshots. In 2012, it was birds and warp pipes. Now it's birds (and a lot of other strange creatures) in real life, or shall we say "augmented reality."

You are only two weeks old, just a baby with a gestation period of about 2 years. At times, I believe we're about as new to this world as you are. You are extremely timely or untimely, depending on the level and team of the person speaking because, let's be honest, almost everybody we know plays for themselves or someone else. Even my sister who had never picked up a phone for anything other than a phone call or the occasional text has jumped on the bandwagon at the beck and call of my two brothers, both avid fans since birth, like myself (I was able to name 95 out of 151 Pokémon without pictures).

You are only two weeks old, just a baby.

You have been getting more attention in the media--out of which you are one medium, one child of thousands--and you are once again blamed for being the youngest, simply put. As stated before, I have siblings and understand how annoying that can be, always being compared to them and being expected to outshine them and then to carry on where they left off or fell short when you really can't be compared. Two weeks is hardly a drop in the bucket compared to two decades (Looking at you, social media).

In short, blaming you for people getting hurt in "augmented reality" is like blaming hot coffee for burning someone who tried to slam a whole cup--black, fresh out of the machine--because they were insistent they needed the caffeine when they were already crazy to begin with.

Please, continue to be yourself, for you are not to blame, little one.

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