Years ago women were expected to have children and raise them. That was basically their only job besides being a wife. That has changed and today it has become more of an option to not have kids or wait until later to have kids. But, women still want to have kids. Most women in the US want kids, but want them later in life so they can focus on a career or their marriage. Sadly not all women are successful in having a child of their own.

To those women I say: I can't comprehend what you are going through, but I am here for you. Women who can't have a child of their own often turn to adoption or fostering, but a part of them still feels a sense of inadequacy. I say stop. Ladies you are enough. You are still a person you are not measured by your ability to reproduce. Know that you have people that care for you and that are here to listen. Know that you are not alone and there are other women out there that would share their experience and advice with you. Know that you can keep trying. Know that you don't have to consider adoption and you are not wrong for not considering it. You have options and you have to choose the one that is best for you. Know that if you have miscarried you are still a mother. Know that people are praying for you and for your husband. Children are a blessing and you understand that. I am so sorry for what you have lost or what you are missing. Don't let anyone minimize your hurt and remember to stay strong and reach out for help. You are loved.

To those trying to find some help here are some options:

1. http://www.cadefoundation.org/
2. www.fertilityforcoloredgirls.org
3. www.fertileaction.org
4. http://www.resolve.org/support/support-group/support-groups-list.html

These websites can help find you support with others that have had the same experiences as you or can be there just to listen.

To those who have friends who are dealing with infertility remember:

1. Don't tell them they have time because they are young.
2. Don't blame them and their life choices.
3. Don't tell them it could be worse.
4. Don't tell them it is not meant to be.
5. Support them.
6. Offer help.
7. Ask them if they need anything.
8. If they have other kids don't tell them at least they have already had one.
9. Never blame their spouse.