“Lust is a guy’s problem.”

“Only men struggle with pornography.”

“Sexual temptation only happens to boys. Girls aren’t gross like that.”

These stereotypes swirl around the church, and our world, as women and girls who struggle with things such as masturbation, pornography, and lust feel forced to hide in the shadows in shame. There are so many support groups and articles and websites solely dedicated to helping men through the fight of temptation that our women are becoming more and more unhealthy each day because they don’t have the resources that they need to help themselves.

Porn is one of the most disturbing, unhealthy, and heart-wrenching things in our world today. These videos and pictures give viewers a false sense of what it means to be a man or woman. Porn tells women that they must scream loudly in pleasure no matter what their partner is doing to them; even if it is painful, even if it is “supposed” to feel good but doesn’t. Porn tells men that if you aren’t dominating her, you aren’t doing it right. Porn tells men that the nice guy finishes last.

Porn tells women that they aren’t worthy unless their breasts are the size of inflated balloons. Porn tells men that they have to have a manhood 10-inches long or else they’re just broken goods.

There is nothing good about this drug. No healthy, loving, and selfless relationship has ever stemmed from viewing pornography.

However, our men are getting help. It is almost considered a fact that a male would struggle with porn at some point in their lives, especially during adolescence, and there are always people that will be there and willing to help him along the way. A woman, on the other hand, is just told how disgusting it is. She is told how un-ladylike it is to have a sin such as lust. A girl who has grown up in the church is usually handed a purity ring by the time she starts to hit puberty with her promise that she will keep her body pure and free of any sort of sexual sin, nixing any sort of conversation about the inner demons she may face.

While the intentions for a purity ring are usually good, men almost never have to give that same promise. This was proven to be true when, back in 2008, the boy-band sensation the Jonas Brothers showed up to an event wearing purity rings and sparked outcry among fans; not just because they proclaimed to be Christians, which is becoming more commonplace within our celebrities, but because it was odd that young men, especially in a boy band, would be wearing them.

As a young woman, I have spoken with so many of my friends about many different personal topics, and it was surprising how many times the struggle of sexual temptation came up and how many girls feel alone in their personal fight.

It is illogical to think that women can’t have the same lustful feelings as a man can. They have the same access to the internet and were equipped with the same type of feelings.

Every woman needs to know that she is not alone. Every man needs to know that he is not alone. Pornography and sexual temptations isn’t more or less damaging based on your gender; rather it is a moral problem that can, and will, destroy anything that is in its path. Purity rings aren’t the answer. Just expecting it isn’t the answer. It is something that can only be fought and conquered in finding a new life through Christ.