The hardest thing in life to do is determine the people that you have healthy relationships with, versus the toxic ones. The toxic people are ones who bring negativity into your life. It is hard to determine whether to forgive them one last time or if this is the final straw.
To the person who I am letting go, I am doing this for all the times you never cared about me or never thought twice about how I would feel. I deserve to be thought of and you may think I am being selfish, but that's okay because I know I am. I am tired of worrying constantly about whether or not my actions or my words upset you. I should not feel as if I have to tread on ice to have a relationship with you. A relationship should be healthy one. It should not be one person continually self-sacrificing or giving in to remain in a certain friendship. You should never feel that you are sacrificing more than what you are willing to remain friends with someone else.
I am letting you go because you never thought twice about me. If we were out and about doing something in town, it didn't matter that I didn't want to eat at that restaurant, because it only mattered what you wanted. I am letting you go because of all the times that every decision that was made came from your mouth, without negotiation. It would have been decent if you would have just asked me. Even if you only asked to appear nice, and then tossed my opinion to the side. Just you being considerate enough to ask my opinion would have meant something.
You expected to me to continually drop whatever I was doing to be there for you. You would get upset if I could not be at your presence with every whim. I was disposable to you. Yet, I cared about you. If I was ever in need you were nowhere to be found, I was supposed to handle things on my own. I even would reach out for your help and your attention. The same response of absence was given time after time. Your absence has taught me that I do not need your presence. That this relationship is a one sided and is nothing but toxic to me.
I am walking away because I am putting myself first since you could not. This is not because I do not care about you, but because I need to care about myself. I have finally said my last “I am sorry,” when it should have been you apologizing. I am finished sweeping your actions underneath the rug and pretending they didn't occur. This is a never ending train fueled with angst and heartache. I am independent and I am strong enough to know that it is time to let toxicity go.
