The summer is winding down, you’re buying dorm decor and your textbooks are being shipped. Freshman year of college begins in a few short weeks, and your friends are raving about their roommates, classes, new comforter and of course the freedom of living on their own. You listen, but you say nothing. They all sound so excited, but you feel sick to your stomach when you think about starting the next chapter of your life.
Sound like you? Well, you’re not alone.
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The truth is, everyone is nervous about something when it comes to beginning college. Whether the new school is right down the road or on the other side of the world, it’s going to be different than high school. There will be new professors, new student peers and a new campus.
Three years ago, I was the girl being described in the opening paragraph. While I won’t lie and say that college is a cakewalk or the best time of your life, I will tell you that I survived and had some spectacular experiences along the way -- and you will survive too.
As fall semester creeps around the corner, I would like to share some important and not-so-talked-about truths that come with starting college that I wish someone would have told me before the first day.
Not everyone is excited as they seem.
Your friends may be talking about how they already know they’re going to be best friends with their roommate or how they’re going to make the dance team, but the truth is that they are just as unsure as you are! Nobody wants to be the first one to admit that they’re terrified, but I promise, nobody has any idea what to expect.
College isn’t necessarily a four-year commitment.
Okay, so this one I was told before the first day. I was very nervous about going away to school, and I had no idea if I had made the right choice. I was very fortunate that my mom was on board with this piece of advice: college only needs to be a semester-long commitment. If after a semester a school isn’t the right fit, transfer! There are even offices on campus to help you with this if you don’t know how to start.
Your roommate doesn’t need to be your best friend.
We all have the highest of hopes and the best of intentions that our roommate is going to be our best friend and our soulmate. Unfortunately, this is not always the case, nor is it always the best-case scenario. Although my roommate and I had our differences, we did end the year as friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way. However, it is important to remember that a roommate relationship is a kind of bond all its own, and certain boundaries will need to be set that don’t necessarily exist in your other friendships.
Sharing a room is hard.
Having a roommate seems like a lot of fun, and it can be a lot of fun! But it is also means not much personal space during a big life transition. Find a place on campus early on that you know you can have privacy, or find out what times during the day you will have the room to yourself. It’s definitely nice knowing whether or not to expect company in your dorm ahead of time after a long day.
The first semester is kind of awful.
Think of any movie or TV show you’ve seen where a character goes off to college. The main character is scared, but then they meet a friend or the love of their life on the first day and all is well from there on out. Unfortunately, that’s not reality. The reality is, first semester of college is not all that fun. You experience homesickness, you miss your friends, the food is bad and the people in the dorm room next door are loud. I left my first semester of college with no intention of returning in the spring, and I had more than one friend in the same scenario. When I did decide to try one more semester, I sobbed the day I moved back in because it felt like day one all over again. Looking back, however, I could not be happier that I decided to suffer through the “dark ages” of college. I came out a stronger person, more capable of coping with change and meeting new people. Adapting to college helped me to gain a whole set of skills I never needed in my hometown, and the struggle was definitely worth it.
You shouldn’t count anyone out of your new friend circle the first semester.
I was very quick to cut people out of my social circle because they came from different backgrounds or had different lifestyles from my own. To be frank, I was about as judgmental as I could be. The result? A floor full of people in my residence hall who were not my biggest fans, and that’s saying it lightly. It is so important not to judge anyone based on a first meeting, and to be especially kind to the people who you know you may not get along with right away. The first semester is for making connections, not burning bridges.
It’s okay to miss a few classes.
I promise this is true. I prided myself first semester on only missing one class -- a zero credit ballroom class -- one time. I’ve learned over time, however, that it’s okay to take a few personal days to sleep in, catch up on emails, or get ahead on assignments at a coffee shop or library. Sometimes sitting through class isn’t worth it, especially if you know you won’t be able to concentrate. Be respectful to your professors, of course, by communicating and handing in assignments via email, but never be afraid to say, “This is just too much” and miss a day here or there.
The most important relationship you need to build is with a professor or faculty member on campus.
Nobody told me this, but I was fortunate to figure it out early on. When you’re no longer living with your family at home, it’s easy to get lost or overwhelmed when you have no adult close by to support you. Building a positive relationship with a professor, religious figure, or coach on campus is essential for success. My major professor and advisor became my support system almost immediately, and I’m not ashamed to say I’ve cried in her office more than once. I know she is always only an email, phone call, or short drive away at any time during the day or night, and she has been there for me countless times on both academic and personal levels.
College may not be the “best four years of your life.”
Last but not least, this may seem like a downer to end on. However, I think this is the single most important piece of information any college student needs to know. When we see the typical college scene in the media, it usually includes kegs, crazy spring break trips and varsity athletic games, but college is so much more than that. College is time management, 10-page papers, unfriendly roommates, noise complaints from RAs, homesickness, stress, tears, laughter, semesters abroad, clubs, new friends, self-discovery, studying in the quad and everything in between. Just like anything else, college has its ups and downs, and it is a completely unrealistic expectation for college to be the best four years of your life. No four-year span will just have ups, and no four-year span will just have downs. College is a time to explore, try new things, make mistakes and find yourself, and it’s not always fun -- and it’s not always easy. Going into my senior year, I definitely don’t look back and define college as the “best” or “most fun” time of my life as a whole. However, some of the most incredible and life-changing experiences for me have come out of my college years, like getting involved in campus programming and studying abroad. College may not be the best four years of your life, but they certainly mold you, define you and give you experiences you will never be able to find anywhere else.
