Charging through the short, damp grass, my only focus was on scoring a goal. With my heart racing and legs stomping beneath me, I was the determined soccer player willing to win a game at all costs. I sprinted in between the maze of players, petitioning for the ball to come to my feet, only to pass it along to the next teammate. Darting back to defend, there was no way an opposing player would get a shot on our goal. At the age of four, I began playing this wonderful sport and very soon after I fell in love with the game. At eight, I decided to stop playing my other sports and doing my other activities and I began playing travel soccer year-round, and there was nothing I would have loved more.
For my whole life, this game was my identity. Everywhere I went, a soccer ball was at my feet or printed on my shirt. Everyone who knew me knew me as that soccer girl who had practice every night and was traveling to a new place to play every weekend. As I got older, the game turned into a lifestyle and the fun turned into high stakes, pressure, and my wildest dreams. Deciding to go away to college without playing soccer, at times it feels as if I am missing a part of myself. For so long, this sport took up my time, my thoughts, my dreams, my goals, and my identity. While I miss it deeply, I know that a sport isn't something you can play forever, and eventually, I would need to figure out who I was as an individual without it. I need to learn to fill my time now with new activities and passions and learn who I am without associating myself as just a soccer player. I am still getting used to being without this sport that took away all of my worries and literally saved my life at times, but I will never forget the things it taught me.
Notorious for the fancy footwork, beautiful goals, and extravagant celebrations, soccer is an art that requires mastery. Since reaching for a goal at the age of four, soccer has been the thing that has withheld an intense, steady presence throughout my life. As a competitive player, I knew that in order to become adept at a certain skill, a huge amount of practice, repetition, and discipline is required. Developing a habit of repeating and adapting until perfection, I am able to implement this trait into all aspects of my life. Keeping everyone on their toes, the tension creates a sense of urgency and drive with the uncertainty of what could happen next. The lesson portrayed is that the journey of life may be long, but in the end, you will be rewarded. However, sometimes the team comes out as the loser. This teaches me how to learn from my mistakes, strategize on how to fix them, and take initiative to try it again differently in order to win the next time. In the nonstop play of a soccer match, a goal could happen unexpectedly, changing the whole outcome of the game. With no set playbook, I need to be prepared for the unexpected. Just like in life, one moment, one decision, or one action could throw everything off balance; leaving me to strategize and quickly overcome. Aside from these important lessons, soccer gave me lifelong friends, a sense of belonging, and a strong knit community willing to bleed on the field for each other. Seeing the beautiful faces of my teammates and laughing about nothing every day at practice, or screaming at the top of our lungs in the bus on the way to our games, or cheering each other on during games. These memories are ones that I hold dearest to my heart, and these faces of my friends will always be remembered as the ones that shaped me.
While I miss this game tremendously, I know that this game will always be there for me at the end of the day. Figuring out who I am without this sport that was such a huge part of me for so long has been an uphill and hard journey, but I know I will love the outcome in the end. So, to the sport that was considered my personality, dreams, and sense of self since I was four, I just wanted to say thank you. Our relationship turned to one of love and hate as the stakes got higher and the fun got more competitive, but the game was always there for me at the end of the day and through whatever I was going through. No matter what, this outlet gave me a place to turn to when nothing else seemed to be going right. Losing soccer is almost like losing a part of me, but I am forever grateful for the chapter of my life it was apart of, and the lessons learned.