I've always been the talkative one, the social one, the one who is always smiling. The girl who is constantly laughing, who goes out of her way to cheer someone up when they're down. The friend who is always reassuring you that you most certainly do not look fat in that top, and reminding you not to talk to the guy who said you'd be hotter if your ass was bigger. I'm not afraid to flaunt my all black wardrobe, and I'll proudly be the asshole on the train who keeps her sunglasses on for the entirety of the 30 minute ride. I like my brows arched, my nails long and my heels high. I am undeniably, unapologetically myself– or so it seems.

The people who know me personally never usually guess that I have spent years becoming comfortable in my own skin. I've never been a naturally confident person, and it took quite a while for me to want to show the world who I am. And don't get me wrong, I still have days when I debate wearing flats for an hour before leaving the house because my legs look too short, or when I redo my winged liner five or six times because one side just wasn't sharp enough. I have hundreds upon hundreds of flaws that, realistically, are only noticeable to me. But on the outside, I am anything but unsure of myself. I go about my days like I have my shit together even when I don't, and in the end, that's what really changes things.

Nobody actually cares about your frizzy hair, or your bloated belly, or your wrinkled blouse. Even on your worst days, you should pay attention to the pieces of yourself that others are going to notice (and that you're going to feel good about;) your attitude, your work ethic, your smile. All those times you called yourself fat and your mom insisted that it's what's on the inside that counts, she was right. Those corny lessons we refused to learn as kids will go a long way in adulthood, and that's what finally made me realize– people are more worried about paying their rent, taking care of their families and dealing with their own lives than they are about your bad skin day. And truthfully, you could be focusing on things so much bigger than the features that make you feel inadequate. Your kindness could turn someone's terrible day around in seconds, but your unblended eyeshadow will only bother you.

If you're used to putting up a front like everything's okay even when your insecurities are getting the best of you, I promise you're not the only one. When you're killing it in that new outfit but quietly wondering if you should've worn your Spanx, ignore those petty thoughts. You deserve to enjoy yourself, and you deserve to allow others to enjoy your company. Your closest friends and family will never have a problem with your obnoxious laugh, or your crooked nose, or your nervous stutter– and if they do, fuck 'em. You'll meet people with better interests.