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Relationships

To the Person With High Standards

Have You Gone Too Far?

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To the Person With High Standards
about relationships

It's admirable that people have standards and expectations when it comes to relationships, but you need to ask yourself: are they too high? From a young age, you've had an expectation of what romance is supposed to be from movies, songs, books, and social media: #relationshipgoals. I've learned the hard way that it isn't always about finding the perfect person, because you know and I know that they don't exist.

Instead of trying to find the right person, try being the right person. Let me say that again, instead of finding the right person, try being the right person. Whoever you're looking for is probably looking for the right person as well. How would you feel if someone deemed you unworthy of love because they focused on your flaws instead of all the good you have to offer? Everyone has flaws, but loving someone means accepting the person for who they are and it means growing with that person.

When you're extremely picky about who you date, you're never going to be satisfied. Obviously don't let anyone change your beliefs and values, but don't be so quick to say no to everyone that is somewhat different than you. Reality is that you won't find someone with all of the things you are looking for. You need to choose your priorities, and maybe lighten up on some not-as-important standards. You're you because you're unique. Guess what? So are they. I've heard several people say things like, "Well, I think they're cute and all, but I don't like this and that about them..." The "this" and "that" are usually things that are forgivable quirks, not unbearable characteristics. If you put someone down for not behaving the same way you do, you're part of the problem. Instead of constantly nagging a person to change, try loving them for what they love; then, through your actions, patience, and compassion, you can better understand and compromise with that person. When's the last time you let go of your selfish ambitions and truly loved someone completely as they are without conditions? It's harder said than done. We tend to love people based off of what they can do for us, but what if we began to love people based off of what we can do for them?

Focusing on what's different can cause you to miss out on something incredible. Give people a chance! The purpose behind dating is to find out what you do and don't like. If you never give anyone a try because they "aren't good enough" for you, you're hurting yourself just as much as you're hurting the other person. I believe in having standards, but there is such a thing as too picky. Things may or may not work out, but it's better than waiting around for your knight in shining armor because that's a fairy-tale and this is real life. You're not a damsel in distress, you're the hero of your own story! Through hard work and perseverance, you're going to find love for yourself and earn your happily ever after.

Jeremiah 29:11, "'For I know the plans I have for you', declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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