So you have FOMO, or the fear of missing out. It’s a feeling that lingers in the wake of any particular day, no matter what time it is, season you’re in, or age you are.
I’ve been there. I know how it can feel. I have been too invested in what my friends are doing at any given time, when I'm not there.
You’ve probably heard all of this before. It’s hard to experience FOMO. It’s hard to deal with, and hearing these things doesn’t usually make it any easier, but to make yourself stop thinking in that kind of negative way, you have to listen to them — these things that I’m about to tell you. You might know them already, but reading them solidifies their meaning and the truth in them.
You will miss things. People will do things without you there. You will survive. Worrying about missing things will only make these times harder. But don’t avoid thinking about it. Think about it, and then choose to let it go. Let it be something that exists, and then let that shit go. Move on with your life.
You’ll make memories with that person. Other ones, better ones. Or you won’t. If you’re not meant to, you won’t. It's just a fact. It can be upsetting at first, but you will come to terms with it in the long run.
The ones who are meant to stay in your life will do so. Sometimes life gets busy. One of you may not have time or energy to hang out. Don’t be discouraged. Not all friendships fade when time spent together decreases. Aging is a weird process. You graduate, and priorities become different over time. You begin to realize that you don’t care about some things anymore, and care about other things twice as much. Going out all the time is the former, and sleeping is the latter.
It might surprise you when you realize that you’re a grandma in a 20 year old’s body.
When you’re not tired, or maybe even when you are, reach out and ask friends to hang out. Don't force yourself if you're exhausted — take care of yourself first. But if you can handle a hang out, ask. If they say yes, rejoice and spend time with them. Any time spent with friends should be cherished. If they don’t say yes, it’s okay. There’s always next time. (Okay sometimes there isn’t a next time — continuous no’s, no matter when or what you suggest, hints at the desire to no longer be friends. Just go with your gut.) You’ll probably know. If not right away, you’ll figure things out.
In life, disappointments are inevitable. But they usually aren’t the end of the world. You will move past them. You will forget about them. You have to. That’s what helps you survive.
