It's really unfortunate for me that you don't get to read this because you blocked me from all social media. I hope to God that someone else shares this and you read it, see that I wrote it, and you get to see how much damage you did. I'm not mean enough to wish harm upon you, but God I hope that you get your life together and stop hurting people you "care" about. I hope you finally grow up. Anyway, here's my story. Thank you for doing me one solid and giving me the ability to write about it.
For almost a year, you were my best friend. You were basically a sibling to me. My parents even accepted you as one of their own. You fooled them with your charm, as you did with me and everyone else. Unfortunately, some are still fooled, but that's a story for a different time. When you came into my life, I felt like I needed you. It was my senior year, I was stressed to no end, and you were there to provide me with a type of relief. I really appreciated how laid back you were, and I admired how you looked like you were going somewhere big in life. I really looked up to you, but again, you had me fooled.
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For a while, you and I talked a lot. You got to see parts of me that not everyone gets to see. You saw me at some of my lowest points, and in the beginning, you tried to help me out of them. But then you did a complete 180. Suddenly I was causing you problems, only you wouldn't tell me what they were and your solution was to just freeze me out. After a week, you would finally let me apologize to you, and then act like you had completely forgotten what had happened. Like, you told me you had absolutely no memory of what had gone on. Still admiring you and wanting to be your friend, I let it slide and moved on. This repeated itself at least once a month for the remaining 6 months that we were friends. I look back and realize that I should've cut you out of my life the first time, but as we all know, I'm not the best when it comes to making decisions.
The final straw was a few months ago, but to save my pride, I'm leaving out the details. And if you read this, even though you'll never own up to it, I know that you know exactly what I'm talking about. While some of the fallout was my fault, you played the biggest part. You manipulated me, put one of my closest friends at the time against me, and manipulated her into thinking that I was the one in the wrong, causing me to lose one of my most solid friendships. I was a wreck for at least a month. The thought of you sent me into a rage that I had a hard time getting out of. I couldn't go to places where I knew you might be or I would have panic attacks. I felt like a completely different person thanks to you, and maybe that's what you were going for. But guess what? That pain didn't last.
I left for college a month later, and I started to make something of myself. I got involved in theatre, involved in writing, and made some pretty amazing friends. I didn't have the time to focus on you like I had been, so the anger went away and I was finally able to grab hold of the person I was before you. I'm content with my life right now, and I'm sorry that that's something you never could be. I'm no longer desperate for your friendship, or the friendship of others like you. Most importantly, I've come to a place of forgiveness. I'm sorry that you were in such a bad spot that the only thing that gave you satisfaction was manipulating others. I hope that one day you are able to break out of that if you haven't already. You hurt me a lot, and I'm never going to forget that, but it helped me find myself again, so in a weird way, thank you.
