The other day I called a friend to check in on them after he had just experienced what might have been the most difficult day of his life. I called to check in, to show my support, and be a shoulder to cry on if they need me to be. However, out of habit, when he answered the phone I cheerfully said “Helloooo, how are you?” It could have been me subconsciously trying to be positive and show them that I am strong enough to handle the truth and support them. The true magic happened when he answered:
“Hello darling, I am good and you?”
This was not what I expected. It made me stop in my tracks. It made think of all the times I had a bad day and answered the phone with a cranky “What!” or with a depressing “Fine!” Later in our conversation we got to the reality. My friend’s pain was unimaginable and I could hear the shakiness in their voice from the tears.
Yet, I found his true strength came out at the beginning of the entire conversation. He could have confessed to me that he was in pain and felt horrible, but he did not. My friend was staying strong, to move forward not only for them, but for those hurting around him. My friend knew how to balance expressing feelings and feeling those emotions with reality. The reality was tough, but he remembered life could be worse and that he had no control anymore- it was not his fault. His mature decision to move forward was truly inspiring and admirable.
I felt moved to tears because I admired his attitude so much. I wanted to hug him, tell him that I was proud and ask, when everything all blows over, how he kept his strength. I realized that next time I am faced with adversity I wanted to behave that way. I hope to have people around me willing to listen, but also be able to re-assure these people that I am okay. That I will be okay. This person is beautifully changing lives even on their worse days. I am positive that I am not the only one inspired by this person, more specifically this person's strength. Their immediate family, their friends and even strangers know it too.
I can not imagine feeling the way he did and hope that I am never confronted with those emotions, the ones he handled with such grace. I need that person, and the world, to know that while he was trying to help others and be the person there for me. He helped me. He taught me not to let my worse days define me. To not let hurt harden my heart and that positivity will go farther than negativity. My friend personified the saying the “carousel never stops turning” and “the sun will rise in the morning” or any other trite phrase you hear. They embodied grace under pressure. He epitomized strength.
Thank you for that. I love you.
