It’s time you learn what I have to live with. Sometimes I feel like my life is falling apart for no good reason. I get nervous in situations where other people would thrive in. You get excited about the future, but I have a panic attack. You get to see the beauty of life in every moment, but I feel as if the world is black and white at times. You can walk down the street while not feeling like everyone is talking about you, but I can’t. I live with anxiety and it tears me apart.
Imagine waking up with your heart racing because you’re thinking about how someone didn’t answer your call two hours before. They still haven’t called you back. Are they okay? Are they mad at you? What did you do? Did you say something to them the day before that would make them upset? Did they get in a car accident? What if my call was the reason that they got in the car accident? I knew I shouldn’t have called them. Imagine having constant fear on your mind. “What if” is the killer for me. What if I don’t do well on this exam? That will lead to me failing the class, then my GPA will go down, then I won’t get into my program, then I won’t know what to do with my career. Oh gosh, then I won’t graduate college. Then I won’t get a job and I won’t have money to support my family. Who am I kidding, I won’t get married if I don’t have a job. Those are just two situations that I get to think about daily.
Living with anxiety is not something anyone wants. I don’t use it as an excuse not to do something. When I say that I’m getting anxious, it doesn’t mean that I’m getting eager. It means that I feel uncomfortable and unsafe. Anxiety is something that tears me down because I am unable to function with constant worry on my mind. It’s not something that I can just get rid of. Believe me, I would have done that in the very beginning if that was possible. It makes me feel as if I’m not good enough for people. There’s a voice in my head telling me that others are doing things better than me, so I shouldn’t even try. Anxiety keeps me from experiencing the world.
So please, do me and everyone else who is struggling with this a favor. Stop saying “things will get better” or that we’re “overacting”. We’re not overreacting, and we know that things will get better. People need to realize mental health is something that is real. Millions of people struggle with it daily, and we need stop stereotyping. People like you are the reason some get embarrassed to talk about the illness. Anxiety has kept me and so many others from doing things in life and accomplishing goals, so today that stops. I am no longer ashamed to admit that I live with anxiety. I am now proud to speak of it. I will make the nonbelievers, believers. I will make people realize that anxiety is real.
I hope that after reading this, your mindset has changed a little bit. If not, I know that millions of people, including myself, will not let you forget that anxiety is real.
Thank you for making me realize that it’s okay to have anxiety.
Sincerely,
An anxious person.
