I understand you. I know right now everything is hard and you often treat it like a joke, but know that it will be OK. Even if things aren't OK for awhile...and even if they get messy and by someone else's standards: "not OK"...they will be.
While you're struggling and bouncing back and forth between majors and life paths...you're learning. You're learning so much about yourself for one. You're also learning about the world in so many different ways through different classes.
Yes, I know on down the line you'll 'pay' for it. You may graduate a little late, but this is a process, and it isn't a perfect one.
My sophomore year started just this week, and a week ago my life was heading in a different direction. Now it's heading in another. My path looks different because I just don't know what I want to do. And that's OK.
I have so many passions. I love music. I love english. I love theatre. I love history. I love helping people. I love education. I love all of these things and more, but I'm not passionate about them enough to pursue them. I wish I was.
Currently (as of an hour ago) I've pieced all my passions together and decided to make my path towards law school more straight and be a political science major.
Will I definitely stick with this? Hopefully.
Am I 800 percent sure about this? Definitely not.
Am I content with the choice? Yes. Or I wouldn't be doing it.
Life is different when you absolutely know what you want to do. That's why I'm doing something that gives me so many different options once I'm on the other side. I hope you can find something that mixes all your passions together as well. Until then:
Keep holding on. Avril Lavigne said it best. We will make it through. I know your head seems a mess and thinking about everything too hard makes your stomach physically hurt. And even if you what you end up doing wasn't some grand design and wasn't written for you in the stars to read as easily as a picture book- find happiness in whatever you can. Even if work isn't your favorite part of the day one day, find something that makes what comes after work the best time of your life.
Life is hard, but college can hold some of the best memories of your life. Don't spend the whole time feeling sick over what your life will be one day, even if it's easy to. Remember, you were put on this earth to have experiences, it's okay to force some of them to be good.
Work hard, play maybe just a little bit harder, and enjoy your life. Make this semester yours no matter what you choose.
Good luck, my friends!