I never thought I would be writing this letter. I honestly thought we would be friends through it all. This may come as a shock to you, and if it does, I’m sorry. It did me too. I thought you would be the one standing by my side at my wedding, I thought you’d be holding my hand while I was having my baby, the middle name being yours. I’m amazed to say that I don’t want you there anymore, in fact I don’t want you in any part of my life.
You were my best friend for quite a while, you got me through some pretty rough times. You made me question myself in ways I never thought possible, and I can never thank you enough for that. But I think it’s time to say goodbye. I want to say goodbye because I know that there is no possible chance of you changing into the person I need you to be anymore. You have hurt me so many times and I’m tired of it. I’m tired of making excuses for you. I know none of this makes sense to you. And trust me, it doesn’t make sense to me either. But I have to do it, I have to remove you out of my life because it’s doing more bad than good to keep you in it. I have a few things to say before though.
You never text first and you rarely ever text back. You never come to see me anymore but you always have time for other people. You tell me you love me, but you hardly ever show it. I was there for you and didn’t feel like you would be there for me, even though I know you were, but in the end it just felt wrong. But through it all I loved you.
I've always loved you, in fact I think you were my first real love. I can’t thank you enough for letting me experience that raw heartbreaking experience. I think deep down inside you knew I loved you in a way different than you loved me. I mean it was always different for you. And I don’t know if you were just a coward or what, but you just didn’t want to be friends with someone who was in love with you, I could tell. You wouldn’t come see me because you didn’t want to face it.
You constantly said that you loved me, and that you were always there for me. You would cancel plans, and then say you would come next time you weren’t busy. I would hope and pray that you were serious this time. All the while wondering what I did wrong this time. Was it something I said? Something I did to drive you away? Or was it simply just because you didn’t want to see me?
But I’m tired of all the wondering. I’m tired of all the disappointment. I’m tired of defending you to everyone that knows. I’m tired of saying “Oh something came up, he’ll come next time, he promises” and then having to deal with their disapproving stares and their scoffs. Most of all I’m tired of fighting my gut, knowing myself that you aren’t going to come next time, or even the time after that. That it’s time to choose what’s best for me, and the sad fact is, it isn’t you. I never thought I would ever say that and that’s what sucks the most.
