Ghosting is a new age term, mainly used for when you're talking to someone, dating someone, etc. and then suddenly cut off all contact. No phone calls, no texts, not even an explanation. Just a lousy cold shoulder. I've done this to someone all of once and to this day, feel horrible about it. So here's to you. I promise it wasn't you, it was actually me.
Dear Ghost,
First, I'd like to apologize. For everything. The unanswered phone calls, the straight to voicemail phone calls and the "stop calling me, I'm too busy" phone calls. I'm sorry for the texts that went seen and never answered because really, I had no idea how to tell you that I just didn't like you the way you liked me. It's a weird thing, when someone likes you too much and you don't like them enough. It's an even harder thing to say to someone's face.
It wasn't your fault. You were nothing but nice and accommodating to me and for me. Probably the closest I had ever had at the time to a genuinely good person in my life. But you came on too strong for me and I wasn't prepared to handle the amount of affection and devotion you were willing to give. I don't come from an affectionate family so if I feel anything at all, you'll never know. And if I don't feel anything at all, I'll probably just ghost you...
I hope you find what and who you were looking for. For some crazy reason, you thought it was me and I don't actually know why. I think you even agreed when I compared myself to a robot (maybe you thought I was just kidding...). Emotions are hard to convey for someone who isn't emotional, so you can only imagine how much harder they are to convey when the feelings aren't there. It was wrong of me to lead you to believe there was something where there wasn't.
We all make choices and this was the choice I made. Was it right? No. Was it mature? Absolutely not. Did I even care? For the sake of honesty, at the time, no. This is absolutely no excuse, to make someone look stupid, waiting around for someone who will never come around. Just know, that I still feel terrible, even if I didn't back then.
You never did get the apology you deserved. Our last phone call went a little something like "I'm just too busy with school right now to have a serious relationship." This was only partly true. Really, I was just interested in other things. So sincerely, I'm sorry. What I did to you was probably synonymous with cruel and unusual punishment--leaving questions unanswered, your status with me up in the air, etc. You didn't deserve it and I don't think I could ever actually apologize for all the things I said or didn't say to you.
So here it is. All your answers, neatly compact to a page. I hope this finds you well, I hope this finds you happy.
Sincerely,
The Robot
