To the parent who chose their addiction over me,

How are you? It's been so long since I've seen you. I hope you and your new spouse are happy. Maybe they were what you needed to bring change into your life.

The last time I saw you, I was terrified of what you were doing to yourself; what you were becoming. I used to always look up to you, and now I can't even look at you. I have forgiven you for your actions, but I will never forget. In a way, I've turned into parts of you. I don't let people in anymore, I can't trust anyone and I'm scared out of my mind when I feel trust begin to form. It's a shame you couldn't be in my life.

You have missed so much in the few short years you've been absent. You missed my first prom, seeing me walking those stairs at graduation, my first wreck and so many more memories. I think I could tell that you weren't going to be there when I was younger, because as I imagined my future, you were never a part of it. Coping with what you have done took me so long to accept, and sometimes I still can't believe it happened. I always hoped things would change and you'd get better, but we can't always be right about things either. I always think maybe one day we will have a relationship again, or we could try to mend that bridge you burnt with another bottle of alcohol, but being your kid has taught me to be strong and to not live in the past.