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Health and Wellness

To The Parent That Chose Addiction

You chose addiction over everything else, including me.

Katie McKinnies

Aug 15, 2016

College of Coastal Georgia

133

felixonline.co.uk

To the parent that chose addiction,

I used to wonder what I did to deserve this but I've slowly realized it isn't me, it is you. You were great whenever I was younger. You attended every school event, every soccer game, family gatherings, and so on. Our nights consisted of slushie runs and long talks. You were my best friend, biggest fan, and rock to lean on. It's weird because I've lost a parent but you aren't physically gone. I could resent the fact that you are like this but instead, I am writing this article for the sole purpose of thanking you.

Thank you for giving me a stronger bond with our family.

It started with just hurting certain people but over time, you hurt everyone around you. Through the struggles of disappointment and being hurt constantly, it brought the entire family closer together. I never realized how blessed I am to have such an amazing family and the importance of it all until you pushed us away.

Thank you for showing me how to stand on my own.

Without two parents, I have faced a variety of my own problems. I didn't have someone to run to whenever my mom was busy trying to do everything on her own as a single parent. I am learning more and more every day on how to be independent.

Thank you for making me love myself more than I ever knew I could.

I no longer put my happiness in others. At any moment, the person that made me happy can walk out of my life. I don't need anyone in my life that makes me feel unwanted. I do not put effort into things for short term happiness.

Thank you for not being there so my stepdad could be.

He is such an amazing human being. I don't have his blood, but he continues to love me unconditionally. Without your absence, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to bond with him as well as I have.

Thank you for showing me how I shouldn't be treated.

I don't settle for less than I deserve. No man will ever treat me like you have in the past because I will not allow them to. I am worth so much more than that.

Thank you for showing me how to turn hurt into something good.

I am more motivated than ever before. I am motivated to do something amazing with my life because I don't want to be looked at as an addicts daughter. I don't want sympathy or people to doubt me due to my father's actions. I will not follow in your footsteps. I have used you to make a better version of myself.

Sadly, I can't drag you out of this hole you have dug for yourself. However, I can promise I will be there at the top waiting for you whenever you find the strength to climb up. Letting go of you has hurt me deeply, but holding onto you will only hurt me more.

Love, your all grown up princess (I'm sorry you're missing it)

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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To The Parent That Chose Addiction

You chose addiction over everything else, including me.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

Or at least try to do.

1. I will wake up (sorta) on time for class.

2. I will look decent for class.

3. I will go to the gym more.

4. I will go to the library and study more.

5. I will meet new people.

For those long nights that turn into mornings when the struggle is real.

1. Walk in motivated and ready to rock

2. Disappointed you let it get this bad

3. Distracted: When a 10-Minute Break Becomes an Hour

4. When the Yearning for Sleep Sneaks Up

5. In the words of Lorelai Gilmore "Coffee, Coffee, Coffee"

Oh, so done.

You need sleep, but also have 13 things due in the span of 4 days.

1. When it's December 1 and you have seven things due, three exams, and haven't slept in three days.

2. So you stress.

3. And cry.

4. Then call your mom to cry some more.

5. After the pep talk, you feel determined to get everything done.

6. But, now you're tired.

7. And really hungry.

8. Suddenly, it's 2 a.m. and you have only written three sentences and your paper is due in the morning.

9. You've made it to Friday... somehow.

10. Then Sunday hits and you find yourself back at the Lib.

11. So you cry some more.

12. But, you fight through the tears to get everything done because you're determined.

13. In the end, you feel on top of the world because you made it through the last week of class alive.

14. But, now it's finals week so good luck.

The ultimate list and gif guide to a college student's brain during finals.

What does the world outside the library look like?

Can I read this entire book tonight?

I should have gone to class more often.

Did the professor even teach this?

What is the lowest grade I can get on this exam and still pass the class?

Should I just drop out of school now?

Finals are ruining Christmas.

Just wrote three sentences so time for a break.

Need. More. Coffee.

What is sleep?

I'm too stupid for college.

Brain hurts.

Time for a Facebook Break.

I think I'm dying.

When will I ever need this information in the real world?

I can't read any of my notes.

I need my mom.

When was the last time I showered?

I need study snacks.

The struggle is so real right now.

"I want to thank Google, Wikipedia, and whoever else invented copy and paste. Thank you."

1. I'm so tired. I need a nap. Maybe I can sleep with my eyes open in class? Or pretend I'm not napping?

2. We have a test today? Why didn't anyone tell me? Did I know this?!

3. Can I quit school yet? It's only October, and I need a vacation.

4. The struggle is so real.

5. I'm so broke. SOS.

6. Stressed? Eat everything you own in your pantry and stuff your face with all your feelings.

7. "Did we have anything due in class today? Homework? Quiz? Test?" "Not that I know of..."

8. I need food. Where is the closest place to get food? I need it stat.

9. This is the longest day of my life. I need a drink, or two, or three.

10. Sleep? What is sleep? What a foreign concept.

11. When someone suggests going and studying in the library, let alone studying in general.

12. When the cafeteria or student center is packed and you can't find a seat anywhere so you literally have to sit in an abandoned corner.

13. When you see someone you used to hook up with. They see you, and approach you; so you have to pretend like everything is normal.

14. When you get your exam and realize you didn't study as much as you should have.

15. When you crush it on an exam or paper that you totally bullshitted.

16. I need a grande, extra strong coffee to get me through today.

17. When the professor announces you have a project due the following week with no instruction on what it's on and how to do it.

18. Is it Friday yet? Where's the weekend when you need it most?

19. It's freezing in here. I feel like I'm sitting in an igloo. I should have brought a jacket or worn long pants.

20. Did I remember my book? Damn, I forgot the book, and of course I need it for that quiz in class.

21. I would pay a million dollars to not go to class today; or actually never again.

22. I need a hoverboard to ride to class. Maybe then I wouldn't be running 15 minutes late to class every day.

23. Oh she/he's cute! I wonder if they're single. Who are they texting? They're BF/GF? I wonder if they think I'm cute. Could they be a potential new bae?

24. Why is there never any parking? I pay thousands of dollars a year for one parking spot to be open.

25. When it feels like you've been in class for an hour and you look at your phone and it has only been five minutes (I'm crying on the inside).

26. When the professor asks if there are any more questions at the end of class and someone raises their hand.

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