It's a common sight. The one kid who wasn't picked for dodge ball, the student left out of the group projects because the groups filled up before they could join, the person eating lunch alone while the cafeteria is alive with laughter and conversations all around them.

It's a really hard mold to break when you're put in it so early: the outsider. The "weird" kid. The kid who read a lot, and didn't always agree with their peers. The kid who wore different clothes, watched different TV shows, who spoke differently. The kid who ate different food at lunch, who cut their hair different, who believed in different things. Middle school is hard. High school is harder. The adult world is the hardest.

So what happens when you're an adult and now you have to work with people whether you like it or not? There's no sitting in the corner during recess anymore, you have to network, or you will fail.

Now you don't necessarily want to be accepted, but you need to be accepted. You say things and mull them over in your head, wondering if you said it with a bad tone, or if you came off awkward or weird, or if it was even necessary to say it at all. Making eye contact is hard because you feel uncomfortable being that intimate with someone you don't know. Socializing is hard because before you make any comment, you have to determine if it's relevant and worth hearing. The amount of times you've walked away from a conversation wanting to hit yourself outnumbers the times you haven't. If you're so bold to make a joke and that joke falls flat, you may as well grab your things and leave because that moment will replay in your head for weeks afterward.

You will most likely be overly assertive, or extremely passive. You either get walked on, or you assert yourself then instantly wonder if it were the right choice, because now you've singled yourself out for speaking out, and the attention is on you. You want to be liked, and the second you stand up for yourself and someone isn't having it, you assume you made the wrong choice.

It won't matter how well you get along with your friends, if you're an outlier for any reason you will be reminded of those schoolyard days. Sometimes it's just easier to be alone.

But these feelings, no matter how hard they are on you, can't control your life. You have to make yourself matter, you have to force yourself to fill the void that you feel like you create. The negative thoughts will be heard, acknowledged, and promptly shoved away. You have to prioritize yourself. Your feelings need to validate your feelings to yourself, and if someone doesn't agree with you, that's their own prerogative. You're as important as anyone else, and not everyone will think you're weird, or awkward, or irrelevant. If those people aren't in your life yet, finding things you want and like to do is imperative. I won't tell you not to care, I know you will. But you have to remember you live for yourself, and that it's okay to be the outtlier. Different is not a synonym for wrong.