To The One Who Loves Him Next,
To tell you the honest truth, a part of me is going to want to hate you. A part of me is always going to wonder what you have to offer, that I couldn't. Why is that you are being handed all of the things I begged for? All the little things I wanted in a relationship, you're getting so effortlessly.
But I am not bitter. I have learned that some things just aren't meant to be, and I have long accepted that fact.
Trust me when I say he is going to push your buttons, he's going to, and he's going to learn exactly how to do it.
He's going to be very distant at times. He'll be cold, and say a lot of things that he is going to later regret. He'll tell you to leave him alone. Sometimes you need to. You'll learn when to walk away, or when to just hug him.
Other times, he's going to be extremely clingy. He will want all of your attention. He won't want you on your phone, or watching TV, and he'll get very frustrated when you're knee-deep in homework. Just kiss him or hold his hand.
Although he may never admit it, he loves getting into those girly shows. The Bachelor, Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill, etc. Turn them on, he'll watch them.
Food. If you have it, he's going to eat it. If you don't, he's going to want you to get it. It may not seem like much, but live for those midnight-McDonald's-ice-cream-and-french-fry runs. He loves it.
As for cooking, it is not his strong suite, and surely, surely do not let him make pancakes-- - it's a disaster. You'll have to cook, but don't worry mac-n-cheese and grilled cheese is his favorite.
He's secretly a baby. He will always have a headache, or a tummy ache, etc. and he'll make it seem like the end of the world. Baby him. Give him his medicine and hold him.
He's going to get jealous, oh god is he going to get jealous. You'll notice because he will become defensive and put up a front very quickly. Reassure him often.
The little things mean the most. Always have a small surprise up your sleeve here or there. Leave notes constantly, they make his days better. The little things go a long way.
He hates sleeping alone, and he'll have to be touching you while he's asleep--even if he has to face the other way. He will probably try to convince you that you are a bed-hog (believe me, it's him).
You will discover he doesn't always make the right choices. Don't be afraid to put him in his place. He won't want to hear it, but he doesn't need someone to egg on bad habits. Push him to be better. Please.
He gets sad, he gets very sad. He drowns himself in his own thoughts. You'll notice it in his eyes, and hear it in his voice. Please, please-- when he tells you he is okay, see through it.
And always, kiss him goodnight.
All in all, it's not going to be easy--and that is something you need to understand, it's something you have to work at. There are times where you will question if he even wants you around, there are times where you will be screaming in each other's faces, there are times where you will be sobbing in each other's arms at 4 AM. But do not forget all the moments that make it all worth it.
Love him when it's easy, and love him, even more, when he's not so lovable.
For now, I hope and pray you find whatever it was that we were missing. And I hope you can learn to love him in the way that he'll never believe he deserves.
