How do you even start this?

Where do I begin?

You loved me unconditionally from the moment you met me. You wanted to be with me every minute and I am forever grateful. You made an impact on me that I can't even imagine the world without.

As a child we spent many days watching movies and playing games. I will always remember riding the roads and visiting people. Swimming all summer long was my favorite.

You and I were more like sisters than cousins. We helped each other shop for clothes and accessories. We would swap clothes back and forth between us two. We always kept each other uplifted. I be damned if anyone were to mess with you. You helped intensify that phrase "family means everything".

I look back on a couple of times ditching school and sleeping in at your house, only for you and Thomas to tell me I needed to go and be somebody. You both always wanted the best for me. I will never forget that.

Going to shows with you were highlights in my life. If for no other reason, I lived for driving down to Huntington with you and Thomas jamming out and talking about life. You were the person who made shows a big part of my life. I've seen many bands and experienced many fun things with you.

I have so many secret memories to look back on and smile. Don't worry sis I got my lips sealed. Those are times are for when I meet you again in the afterlife. There are so many secrets you took to the grave. You always listened to everything I had to said. You were the first adult to know I smoked. Believe it or not, it was you who finally pushed me to tell mom.

I can't help but feel regret when I think of all the time I lost with you. Some of the regrets I have will stick with me for life. Not being at the hospital in time. Not seeing you while you were severely ill in the hospital. Letting some dumb bimbo come between me and the person who meant the world to me. My heart breaks for the time I spent away because of somethings that were just so stupid. I just hope and pray you always remembered I loved you.

You were and forever always will be my best friend. I can't believe you've been gone so long. Keep my seat warm chick.

I love you.