To The One I've Been Through Tough Times With | The Odyssey Online
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To The One I've Been Through Tough Times With

Love can be hard when combined with mental illness.

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To The One I've Been Through Tough Times With
Caitlin Aschenbrenner

We've both grown a lot since knowing each other.

I truly do believe that when someone comes into your life, they came into it for a reason.

We both grew exponentially together. We just didn't know how to handle it.

When we were together in person, it was the best feeling in the world. We made each other feel alive and happy. Together, we were aflame. I felt that. Apart, it didn't work. Neither of us knew how to properly communicate with each other when we were apart. That was the bad aspect of our relationship. Our communication just never worked out.

We were both going through some terrible circumstances mentally, and that just made the communication worse.

You're going through your own depression, your own self-discovery, while I'm going through my own problems with anxiety and depression. I think, when we were a couple, we made each other worse.

I know my anxiety got worse whenever I was dating you. You would go days without talking to me, not even realizing that it was only adding more wood to the fire that is my anxiety. I know to you, you didn't realize that you weren't talking to me. To you, time is barely a concept. You went an entire week without a phone and I thought it was just you ignoring me like you normally would. When I had asked you about it, you hadn't even realized how long it had been.

I kept trying so hard to be there for you, to help you through your problems. I think you were so caught up in your own issues you didn't realize that I was having them too. I still am. I'm finally getting professional help for them. Our last breakup was what pushed me over the edge, and I realized I needed it.

I'm not even mad about the breakup this time. I was realizing how much worse we were both getting, and I think we both realized it wasn't going to work at this point in both of our lives.

I'm upset about how it happened. Timing was terrible. I was literally trying to call you so you could help calm me down from an anxiety attack. I was only ignored. And then to text me that you couldn't and that it was over...that just made it worse. In that moment, I hadn't even cared that we were breaking up. I just needed to hear someone's voice to help calm me down from the attack. I asked you for help...and you refused. To have loved and cared for someone once, and to refuse when they are asking for help...I never expected that from you.

I know that if you ever called me, regardless of what has happened between us or what's going on currently, and you needed help, I would be there for you in a heartbeat. To find out that you wouldn't for me is only making me realize more why we don't work together.

I hope you find yourself and work through everything that you're going through. I hope for myself the same. I honestly wish you luck, and hope you learn how to become happy on your own. I'm glad we were given a second chance. We both grew a lot the both times that we dated. I believe we were meant to meet. We helped each other realize how our own minds work, and what we need to work on. Maybe later in life, we can reconnect...but for now we just need to deal with our own problems.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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