To the one I'm still in love with,
The reason I let you go was because we're at different places in our lives. You had work, school, and other engagements. I had school and was in the process of moving into my very first apartment. We were drifting apart, as we wanted completely different things from each other and ended up with nothing in return. But the crazy thing is that I'm still in love with you. Yes, after all the heartbreak we caused for each other, my depression, your anxiety, I'm still in love with you.
You treated me like no other person has treated me before. You treated me sweetly, you did not make an insane pass at me like other people have, you respected my trust issues. You were the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. To be honest I don't care if I never date again, because I'm still in love with you.
After we parted ways, I immediately downloaded the familiar dating apps Clover and Tinder. I thought I could distract myself by finding attractive people to chat with, maybe go on a few dates with, etc. But they're not you. They're not. When we met last year, you made it your mission to delete every dating app on your phone after we went on our first date. Sadly, that hasn't happened with anyone else. I don't want that. I don't want to forever be confined to my phone trying to find people to simply chat it up with. I'm tired of the society that we live in where hookups and casual sex are normal. I'm tired of not being able to look at someone and see your face instead. I'm tired of thinking about texting or calling you, and whenever I'm at my phone about to, I know you'll ignore me anyway.
I don't care though. I don't care how I texted "Happy Valentine's Day" and you never responded. I don't care how you still ignored me after I wrote a very powerful, convincing message with raw emotions and feelings. You should know, I've never been one to express my feelings well. You may think you have the upper hand in this, and you probably have already met someone new by now, but at least I'm telling you how I genuinely feel.
Yes, I'm still in love with you. I'm not apologizing. You were the best thing to ever happened to me and I decided it would be best to let you go. It would be silly of me to ask you to take me back. And I'm not going to do that. I just need to let you know how I feel, because my feelings have been bubbling up inside me since we decided to part ways. You either will read this and ignore it, or you won't read this altogether. And that's okay. Either way, I'm finally letting my feelings out, and I feel better already.
