Even if you are not currently broken or hurt inside, this is still a great reminder for anyone who occasionally struggles with any emotional distress.
Look, I know that someone or something crushed your heart. But instead of trying to mend your pieces back together, you have been masking your pain.
I know that you are trying, but in your head it is just neverenough.
I know that you want things to go back to the way things were, but you secretly know that they never will.
I know that you have been building this (invisible) wall to hide and suppress your pain.
"She made broken look beautiful
and strong look invincible.
She walked with the Universe
on her shoulders and made it
look like a pair of wings.”
― Ariana Dancu
Maybe you have started doing things that you never imaged you would do just to feel better in the moment. But when the night ends, you see your whole world collapsing as if everything that went wrong in your life is all of your fault. No one else's.
But you tell yourself that, "You are trying", but your efforts never seem to meet the issues lying underneath to really understand and change the reason why you are broken inside. And believe me this, I am secretly the queen of this.
When you imagine being happy with your broken pieces seemingly put back together, your source of hope is Social Media. You see all of your friends and family -- happy and carefree, and you wish to be like them. But when you try, you feel just as empty as you had all along.
You start to believe that you will never find that love you once had, but your mind constantly replays the memories in your head on repeat just like a broken record.
But there is going to be a time when your pain gets the best of you and your hurricane is released. It is worse than what you imagined it would be, it is destructive and uncontrollable, but it only reminds you of the love you once had: tough, strong, miraculous, unlike any other and beautiful.
On the contrary, let me remind you this...
Being broken is never simple nor easy to overcome, but I want to remind you something: You are a warrior. All of those times you fought in battle, and gave your whole heart to someone or something, and watched it crumble in his/her hand; you got back up. You never hesitated. You still tried to overcome whatever it is that has broken you. Even though you put on a mask for others and for yourself, you are still the strongest person I will ever know. I genuinely wish that I could tell you that there is a secret answer that no one knows that will make your heart feel better, but there is not.
You just need to have faith. The faith in your religion, the faith in yourself to get better and the faith in others to hold you accountable for your own feelings and actions.
“To be rejected by someone doesn't mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn't mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment, and it only hurt so much because to you, that person's opinion symbolized the opinion of the whole world, of God.” - Jocelyn Soriano, Mend My Broken Heart
Just like that love you once had for that someone or something, you must have for yourself. Stop looking and searching for things out of your reach. Prevent yourself from going back to toxic people and situations. Find the proper respect, love and loyalty that you once had for others, but also for yourself.
Do not decide fear over love. Although you must fear dangers, fearing everything you do in this life will prevent you from succeeding and growing. Even when it seems scary, if it is good for you, sometimes it is worth the chance. And when you love, love intentionally and cautiously. You have given so much of yourself and loved wholeheartedly which was a blessing and a curse. And, maybe you won't ever be the same after that and that's O.K. but let that be a lesson that you have learned and grow from it. Most importantly, love when you are ready, but guard your heart just as strongly as you love. Never forget the warrior that you are.
