Each morning you wake up and tell yourself that today will be a better day. Today you will finish all of that homework you have been putting off for the past week. Today you will clean your room that is scattered with empty water bottles and piles of clothes you just never got around to hanging up. Today you will do all of the things you have been saying you were going to do, but never ended up completing.
Yet tomorrow comes and no change has occurred. Your schoolwork is slacking, you feel like a pretty crappy friend, and you are filled with a belief that your life should be much better. You are stuck in a rut and are just a giant mess of a person. You desire so badly to be better and do better, but you just cannot muster up the energy it takes to make a change.
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You always imagined that by this point in your life you would have everything figured out. You would be in a steady relationship (maybe even getting that ring by spring), confidently moving towards being ready for your dream career, and pretty happy with who you are as a person. Yet the more you look inside yourself, the more unhappiness you feel. There is room for an immense amount of improvement in way too many aspects of your life than you would like to admit. Everyone around you seems to have it all together and be on the right path, you might even appear to as well on the outside. Yet inward you are broken and barely hanging on.
Stop everything you are doing and let go. Give it all to God. If there is anything I have realized lately it is that I am feeling this way because God is breaking me right now so that when He is finally through I will have no choice but to give my all to Him. Lately my relationship with God has been mediocre at best. I can’t remember the last time I put a real effort into pursuing my relationship with the only one who really matters. Everything in my world seems to be falling apart and I can’t seem to fix it on my own. I am stubborn and impatient, and it seems the Lord is trying to kick me of these bad qualities because I am being shown in so many ways that my plans are not His and that despite how badly I want to know how everything is going to work out, He isn’t quite ready to reveal His plans to me.
When you feel like God is doing everything He can to prove a point in your life, let Him. I’m beginning to realize that it is far less exhausting to give up and give it to God than it is to battle Him every single day. I’m certainly not saying it is going to be easy; I have to remind myself several hundred times a day that God knows what He is doing and I just have to trust Him. Start your day off by spending time in His word. I promise that if you start doing it every day and really focus on drawing nearer to the Lord and absorbing what He has for you to hear, then you will feel a noticeable difference in your thoughts and emotions throughout the day. When things start falling apart pray. There is no shame in asking God to help you when you start slipping back into old habits. It is only when you put God first in your life that the rest of the pieces will start to fall into place.
So to you, the one who feels like you are never going to be any better and the whole world is conspiring against you, turn to the one who loved you enough to take your place on the cross. He loves you more than anyone else, every messy broken piece of you. Only through Him can you become the best version of you; the one who is happiest and most carefree.
