To The Men | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

To The Men

This is for you, from us.

85
To The Men
Diana Juliao

This is for the men who have a daughter, a sister, a niece.

This is for you, from us.

You are the first men we meet in our life. You are the ones who set an example, good or bad. I can only imagine that responsibility. But that's the responsibility you take on when we're born.

I'm sure raising a girl is tough work. We're feisty and sassy, but we are what makes the world go 'round. There's so much girls have to deal with growing up: insecurities, friends, boys, and drama. So yes, it may seem like we're "bratty" at times, but we mean well.

Growing up in a family of men who all have their own personalities, their own egos,was not easy. But I wouldn't be the same if it were any other way: I love them to death. I remember being young and always looking up to my brother who is six-and-a-half years older than me, and thinking he was "so cool."

To me, he could do no wrong. I always listened to what he said even if it didn't make sense. I remember when he was in high school and started driving. He would take me to school sometimes or pick me up and I thought I was the coolest girl in school.

When I was 11 and my brother was 18, our parents' split was tough. It was tough for both of us even though we were so many years apart. We both grew from that in different ways and went through what we needed in order to cope. I lived with my mom most of my adolescent years and he lived with my dad so that changed many things.

My uncle on my dad's side, well, let's just say it's been a work in progress. He's always been involved in the family and would be the one to come over in the middle of the week; it was like having another older brother. What I find ironic is my brother, him, and my dad are all exactly 10 years apart and they all have their birthdays in the same month.

Now, my dad was my rock for so long. He's a good man. We were extremely close when my parents were together. We'd always have father-daughter dates and go eat ice cream. He taught me how to dance salsa when I was a little girl and I would stand on his feet and learn. He also taught me how to drive stick (the basics, I would probably fail epically if I tried now). I would sit on his lap and move the wheel and shift gears while he was pressing the pedals. I used to go to work with him all the time. He would call me his "lucky charm" because whenever I would go with him to a customer's house he'd always get a sale. We used to sing to Marc Anthony songs in the car and he'd always take me shopping. My dad was the best guy I ever knew.

Those are the men who have had the biggest impact in my life.

You're probably reading this and at this point thinking, "okay...so what is the point of this article?" Well, the point of this article is to show you that, yeah things are always great when you're young and innocent. When you haven't experienced things, some may think you become "rebellious." I think it's learning what an opinion is and speaking your mind.

Sometimes, things just happen.

When I started learning my own things and learning how to speak my mind, the men in my family didn't like that. I was becoming me. I know I said all those great things about them earlier in this article, but there were not so great things. I always felt like I needed their approval, I always struggled with being OK with myself because my OK was not their OK. I allowed it to affect me so much that it has carried out into my adulthood and continuously made me feel like I wasn't good enough. That isn't OK.

These guys always felt like they needed to state their opinions no matter how hurtful they were. My brother and my uncle always felt like they were my dads. No matter how much I looked up to my brother, he could never give me that "brotherly love." I always looked for it in someone else. No matter how much I looked up to my uncle, he could never give me that "love. I always looked for it in someone else. No matter how much I looked up to my dad, it was so hard for him to give me that "emotional love." I always looked for it in someone else.

I always tried to fill the hole of a man's approval.

That has led me down paths I wish I never would had taken, paths which were dark, difficult and lonely, paths that could have been avoided if I would have just said something.

Longing for the love, support, and emotional connection to the most important men in a woman's life is such a dark journey. My brother tried his best to teach me, but it was never felt like the right way. I'm a girl, I'm your sister, I'm not your brother, I'm not your friend. My uncle tried to teach me but I'm not some stranger. I'm your niece. I'm not some kid in a program. My dad was always emotionally disconnected and still is. I'm your daughter.

It is important for the men reading this to know that we are your family, you are important to us. We look to you as examples. It's hard enough having to deal with the rest of the men in the world who don't have the right intentions. Don't be one of those men.

I can't express enough how many times I've tried to reach out to these three men and I get no response. How many times I've thought to do something fatal so they can then realize how much hurt they've caused.

Not anymore.

Now, I know who I am. I see my worth. I don't have to rely on them to tell me how good I'm doing, how much I'm valued. I love them, but they do not make or break me anymore.

So those of you who have daughters, sisters, nieces: cherish them. They need you. Show them what a man looks like. What a man acts like. Don't let them learn the hard way. You have the power to shape that little girl's mind and be the good example. You must know that with or without you, she will learn and she will likely be strong and she will be fierce.

The choice is in your hands.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Kardashians
W Magazine

Whether you love them or hate them, it's undeniable the Kardashian/ Jenner family has built an enormous business empire. Ranging from apps, fashion lines, boutiques, beauty products, books, television shows, etc. this bunch has shown they are insane business moguls. Here are seven reasons why the Kardashian/ Jenner family should be applauded for their intelligent business tactics.

Keep Reading...Show less
friends
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

If I have learned one thing in my lifetime, it is that friends are a privilege. No one is required to give you their company and yet there is some sort of shared connection that keeps you together. And from that friendship, you may even find yourself lucky enough to have a few more friends, thus forming a group. Here are just a few signs that prove your current friend group is the ultimate friend group.

Keep Reading...Show less
ross and monica
FanPop

When it comes to television, there’s very few sets of on-screen siblings that a lot of us can relate to. Only those who have grown up with siblings knows what it feels like to fight, prank, and love a sibling. Ross and Monica Geller were definitely overbearing and overshared some things through the series of "Friends," but they captured perfectly what real siblings feel in real life. Some of their antics were funny, some were a little weird but all of them are completely relatable to brothers and sisters everywhere.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Types Of Sorority Girls

Who really makes up your chapter...

2447
Sorority Girls
Owl Eyes Magazine

College is a great place to meet people, especially through Greek life. If you look closely at sororities, you'll quickly see there are many different types of girls you will meet.

1. The Legacy.

Her sister was a member, her mom was a member, all of her aunts were members, and her grandma was a member. She has been waiting her whole life to wear these letters and cried hysterically on bid day. Although she can act entitled at times, you can bet she is one of the most enthusiastic sisters.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

10 Reasons Why Life Is Better In The Summertime

Winter blues got you down? Summer is just around the corner!

2056
coconut tree near shore within mountain range
Photo by Elizeu Dias on Unsplash

Every kid in college and/or high school dreams of summer the moment they walk through the door on the first day back in September. It becomes harder and harder to focus in classes and while doing assignments as the days get closer. The winter has been lagging, the days are short and dark, and no one is quite themselves due to lack of energy and sunlight. Let's face it: life is ten times better in the summertime.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments