It's not going to be easy. I can tell you that right now. Loving me will not be easy. In fact, it might be the hardest thing you'll ever have to do. It might be because I'm a Taurus, and we have very stubborn hearts, or it might just be the mere fact that I've only ever had stormy relationships. Loving me won't be easy, but it sure as hell will be worthwhile.
There's a saying that sensitive people should be treasured because we love so deeply and are so loyal to the people we love. That's something you'll love about me. You will never have to wonder if I love you. You'll always know. It will be in the little things I do, like buying your favorite candy when I see it in line just because I thought of you. You'll never have to worry about me being with anyone else because I will be so crazy about you I couldn't imagine living my life with anyone else. I'll always be there to listen if you have a bad day at work and provide endless compassion. I'll be your favorite listener.
But like I said, it won't be easy. I'll get offended by the small things and think you don't love me. I'll need constant reminders that you love me and won't leave because my fear of abandonment is so strong. I'll overthink texts once in a while or something you said to me days ago. I'll require more love and attention than the normal person. I crave being held and feeling wanted, which to some is needy and clingy. Although all that can become annoying or overwhelming, if you ever need a hug or someone to make you feel loved, I will be the one who will always be willing to do both.
I'll make you watch movies you wouldn't normally want to watch, whether it be a sappy movie like Dear John or a kids movie like Tangled. Even though I'm almost 20, I'm still a hopeless romantic and a child at heart. I'll talk about dead poets and books written in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Even if I talk about stuff that isn't of interest to you, I talk about it with you because I am as passionate about books as I am of loving you.
I'll tell you "I hate you," but I never mean it. Sometimes it's meant in an endearing way, meaning "I hate how wonderful you are and make me feel." Sometimes I say it when I'm annoyed. Sometimes I say it to push you away. But no matter how many times I say it, know that me saying "I hate you" is a defense mechanism. When I say I hate you, it really means "You are so wonderful it scares me. You make me so happy. I can't imagine living life without you." It doesn't make sense, but sometimes love doesn't make sense.
I'm stubborn, and you'll hate it. I'll stand my ground during a fight and won't admit when I'm wrong. I won't tell you if I'm mad or something hurt my feelings. It's one of my biggest weaknesses, but there's one good thing about how stubborn I am. Being stubborn means I don't give up easily. I will never give up on you without a fight.
Loving me will not be easy, but it may quite possibly be the greatest love you will ever feel in your life. Even though I'm stubborn and confusing. Even though I overthink and can be too sensitive. Even if I get offended easily and need attention. I will love you with all of my heart and make you feel more wanted than you ever have in your entire life.
So no, it's not going to be like the movies. And yes, I will be a handful. But it will be the best thing that ever happened to you. And I thank you for loving me despite my flaws and dealing with me. I thank you for holding me at 3 a.m. when I have one of my nightmares. I thank you for listening to me talk about the silly things and my favorite books. Thank you for staying.
You, the man who fell in love with me.
