A Change Of Heart | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Relationships

A Change Of Heart

To the man who I thought was my "forever."

86
A Change Of Heart
Danielle Dubois

To the man who changed my heart:

Thank you.

Thank you for the memories, the laughs, the tears, the learning moments, the personal growth experiences and much more.

For two years I gave my heart, my soul and my everything to a relationship that I thought was my forever; my fairytale come true. You proposed to me in front of my family and friends, I said yes and from there on out life with you was supposed to be magical. It was supposed to be what I’ve been dreaming about since I was a little girl. I thought that you were the plan that God had in store for me.

However, what I thought His plan was, simply turned out to be just another learning experience on my journey through life; on my path to His greater plan.

For two years I slowly felt myself changing, not only physically, but also mentally, emotionally and spiritually. I gained weight, fought the battle of depression and anxiety and I felt myself slipping further and further away from God. I pushed aside the red flags that I was being shown in our relationship because I was blinded by what I thought was true love. I gave up things I loved, as well as going out and making memories with the people I loved, just to make you happy by spending every free moment I had with you. Piece by piece I lost myself and the light inside of me that has shined so bright for all of those around me to see, gradually started to fade away alongside the woman that I had worked so hard on becoming. Slowly but surely I lost myself.


When I became engaged to the man who I thought was my forever, a switch turned on in me and for the first time in two years I was finally able to see all of the things that had blinded me for so long. I was finally able to see that my feelings weren’t the right feelings I should be having for being so newly engaged.

Not only did a switch flip in me, but a switch flipped in “the man of my dreams” after he proposed to me. Suddenly, the man of my dreams wasn’t so dreamy after all. The lack of communication, respect, thoughtfulness, encouragement, understanding and more faded away, along with being the gentleman that I had always known him to be. I was now seeing a man who was like a stranger to me; a man that I could feel myself falling out of love with.

Everything changed. Life kept moving forward, but my feelings had fallen behind. Hateful, demeaning, thoughtless words kept escaping the mouth of the man who said he loved me and wanted to spend forever together. That’s when it finally dawned on me that my self-worth surpasses all Earthly things because in the eyes of the Lord God, I am loved. It finally hit me after all of this time that I am a Daughter of the living God, and that I should be cherished, loved and adored, above all things, by the Creator of all things, for the Glory of Him, who is greater than all things. In His eyes I am beautiful, smart, funny, kind, and unique. To Him, I am never too much, and I am always enough. To Him I am worthy of endless love and affection.

When this dawned on me, I knew my engagement was over. In this moment, I took a step back and realized that the man that I was engaged to marry made me feel the opposite of what a Godly man should be making me feel. This was God’s sign to me saying, “I have bigger and better plans for you, my Daughter.” And in that moment, I knew I had to make a change.

Never in a million years did I think that I would be in the situation of ending an engagement, however, I am blessed beyond belief to have seen the signs now, rather than marrying a man who isn’t in God’s forever plans for me. It’s funny how things happen, how life happens, and how God’s timing is truly perfect. His love and guidance are always with us when we need it the most.

Saying goodbye to the man who I was engaged to, to the man I thought was my forever, was difficult even though I may not have fully shown it because I was so angry at how he had been treating and speaking to me. Saying goodbye to someone who you have shared your life, time, secrets, hopes, dreams, fears, and much more, with is never easy. It’s saying goodbye to familiarity, and saying hello to the unknown… It’s taking a leap of faith and trusting in God and His plans for my future… Whatever they may be. Although saying goodbye was difficult, it was extremely relieving in so many ways.


So to the man who changed my heart… Thank you

Thank you for showing me your true colors so that I could realize that we were not meant to be. Thank you for the life lessons that I’ve learned about myself and about the woman I don’twant to become. Thank you for making the choice of choosing my education over you an easy one, because I know my future is bright, and I know that I’m going to make an impact on those I cross paths with. Thank you for showing me that by speaking my mind it can move mountains and shed so much light on a situation. Thank you for sparing me the heartbreak of a divorce later on down the road, because that is the path we were traveling on.

But most of all, thank you for helping me find my faith again, because His love and His plan are bigger than anything I could have dreamed of for myself. Because of you, my relationship with Christ is stronger than ever, and I have found myself again through Him. The light inside of me, that had become so dim, now shines brighter and bolder for the world to see. For the first time in a long time in a long time I feel whole again, and I am finally seeing the woman that I set out to be so long ago.

You may have been what I thought love was, but I now know the difference. The kind of love you showed me was not the kind of love God has in store for me, and I’m ok with that.

Even through all of this my heart is not jaded or closed off to love. If anything, my heart is more open because I know what I want and need in a man that I will spend my forever with.

I know that when the time is right that God will place the perfect man for me in my life. When that time comes, my heart will be open and ready to fully love again with all that I have because I know that what the Lord has planned for me is something bigger and better than my heart and mind could ever imagine.

And when that day finally comes for me to find love again, I will cherish every moment of it, and I will be thankful of you, the man who changed my heart… For because of you, I have realized my true self worth, and I have finally figured out that I don’t have to settle for anything less than I deserve.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

15 Mind-Bending Riddles

Hopefully they will make you laugh.

189450
 Ilistrated image of the planet and images of questions
StableDiffusion

I've been super busy lately with school work, studying, etc. Besides the fact that I do nothing but AP chemistry and AP economics, I constantly think of stupid questions that are almost impossible to answer. So, maybe you could answer them for me, and if not then we can both wonder what the answers to these 15 questions could be.

Keep Reading...Show less
Entertainment

Most Epic Aurora Borealis Photos: October 2024

As if May wasn't enough, a truly spectacular Northern Lights show lit up the sky on Oct. 10, 2024

14439
stunning aurora borealis display over a forest of trees and lake
StableDiffusion

From sea to shining sea, the United States was uniquely positioned for an incredible Aurora Borealis display on Thursday, Oct. 10, 2024, going into Friday, Oct. 11.

It was the second time this year after an historic geomagnetic storm in May 2024. Those Northern Lights were visible in Europe and North America, just like this latest rendition.

Keep Reading...Show less
 silhouette of a woman on the beach at sunrise
StableDiffusion

Content warning: This article contains descriptions of suicide/suicidal thoughts.

When you are feeling down, please know that there are many reasons to keep living.

Keep Reading...Show less
Relationships

Power of Love Letters

I don't think I say it enough...

457486
Illistrated image of a letter with 2 red hearts
StableDiffusion

To My Loving Boyfriend,

  • Thank you for all that you do for me
  • Thank you for working through disagreements with me
  • Thank you for always supporting me
  • I appreciate you more than words can express
  • You have helped me grow and become a better person
  • I can't wait to see where life takes us next
  • I promise to cherish every moment with you
  • Thank you for being my best friend and confidante
  • I love you and everything you do

To start off, here's something I don't say nearly enough: thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart. You do so much for me that I can't even put into words how much I appreciate everything you do - and have done - for me over the course of our relationship so far. While every couple has their fair share of tiffs and disagreements, thank you for getting through all of them with me and making us a better couple at the other end. With any argument, we don't just throw in the towel and say we're done, but we work towards a solution that puts us in a greater place each day. Thank you for always working with me and never giving up on us.

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

11 Signs You Grew Up In Hauppauge, NY

Because no one ever really leaves.

26431
Map of Hauppauge, New York
Google

Ah, yes, good old Hauppauge. We are that town in the dead center of Long Island that barely anyone knows how to pronounce unless they're from the town itself or live in a nearby area. Hauppauge is home to people of all kinds. We always have new families joining the community but honestly, the majority of the town is filled with people who never leave (high school alumni) and elders who have raised their kids here. Around the town, there are some just some landmarks and places that only the people of Hauppauge will ever understand the importance or even the annoyance of.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments