Dear Lover of my heart,

You have been there since the day I opened my weary eyes

With every shaky breath I take

Your love has shown no disguise

In my weakest and lowest of days

I cry out in agony

Then I see your face.

I see you in the people serving me food with a gentle smile

I see you in the classrooms with wide eyed children as they freak out over bugs

I see you in the eyes of family members I have not seen in a while

I see you in my two year old best friend who gives me endless hugs

I see you in my friends' face as they light up with joy

Telling me about the things they are doing in their life

I see you.

I see you in the happiest of times

And

I see you in the darkest

I see you when I am up at 3 am wondering if I am even good enough

I see you when I have been made a fool by people who I thought were friends

I see you when I do not believe I deserve to be loved

I saw you when I tried to make my end.

BUT.

You were not the bad.

I was in pain

In a constant of sad

Trying to feel a wholeness I could not seem to attain

Alone, afraid, ashamed.

But you lit your match

My cold heart started to feel whole

I saw hope, I felt comfort, I felt peace

You renewed my soul

And all that heartache I could finally release.

I was:

Broken, depressed, suicidal, angry, isolated, and dirty

I am:

Healed, joyful, revived, peaceful, connected, and clean

I AM BEAUTIFUL, I AM WORTHY, I AM LOVED

Your love is written throughout my story

The tribulations have been overcome

By you weaving in your glory

I never believed I would make it this far

But that was not your plan

You had plans to prosper

And in a moment you lent out your hand

I grabbed it and will never let go

Because as I have walked this Earth

Your love remains as so

So lover of my heart,

I will praise you till my dying breath

I will give you my all

Even when I have nothing left

In your name I will call

No matter the dark

I see your light

When pain tries to leave is mark

You turn the mud into white

YOU ARE THE I AM

And my one true love.

I love you and praise you.

You are my GOD.

I pray that as I show others who I used to be

In it they can find you

And feel your glory.

Amen.