First of all, please know, I forgive you.

I forgive you for all the times you both unknowingly and knowingly said something homophobic to me. I forgive you for all the backhanded statements about the LGBTQ+ community you said against me. I forgive you for pressuring me to go to a church where they spouted harmful anti-LGBTQ+ messages and sermons. I forgive you for the pain you caused me because I know you think your hurtful and hateful rhetoric stems from a place of love when really, it comes from a place of ignorance and misunderstanding.

I didn’t choose to be bisexual, this is just who I am. Why would I choose to become something that’s hated and discriminated against? Why would I choose a sexual orientation people can’t seem to understand or accept? Why would I choose to be a part of a community you can’t even accept or tolerate? My sexual orientation isn’t a choice, it’s just who I am and have always been.

I know you think you’re saving my soul from going to hell when you try to take me to church to hear anti-LGBTQ+ rhetoric, but what you don’t seem to realize is those words cut like knives. Every time you say something against my community or share a post praising discrimination on LGBTQ+ individuals, you are essentially saying you don’t accept me for who I am and you don’t like one of the biggest aspects of my identity.

Your harsh words feel like cinder blocks chained to my ankles attempting to pull me back into the ocean of despair and frustration that once consumed me. There was a time where I prayed every night for God to “fix” me and make me straight, asking him why he made me to be bisexual if it was a sin. I was filled with self-hate and despair, unjustly frustrated with both myself and God. Until one day I came upon the enlightenment my sexual orientation isn’t a mistake because God doesn’t make mistakes and he created me.

Please open your hearts and at the very least tolerate my community, allow us to live in peace. Acknowledge that it would be discrimination to let a business not hire or serve those in the LGBTQ+ community; realize we have just as much of a right to fair housing, non-discriminatory health care and marriage as you do.

Understand that I am tired of hearing those I love and care about say they believe my rights and my communities rights should be stripped in the name of religion, despite the supposed separation of church and state. If you claim to love me, then I need you to love all of me and stop trying to change who I am. I need to know that my best friends, family members, etc would come to my wedding if I end up marrying a girl; I’m tired of second guessing if some would bother to even say congratulations.

On a positive note, I’m fortunate enough to know my immediate family accepts me for me and so do most of my friends. I still hold love for those who don’t in the hopes that one day they will.

In the words of the Bible: “The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery,’ ‘“You shall not murder,’” ‘“You shall not steal,’” ‘“You shall not covet,’” and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: ‘“Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law” —Romans 13:8-10.