Dear Younger Self,
Where to begin? I could tell you about all the mistakes you will make growing up, all the things I wish we should've done differently. I could tell you not to trust that boy, or I could tell you that you should've stuck up for yourself a little bit more. Maybe I could tell you to start saving money a bit sooner, or that you really should listen to your parents when they tell you to drive more carefully. There are many things you learn the hard way growing up, just like everyone else. But there is one thing that I wish I could tell you more than anything. There is one piece of advice that stands out above the rest. Something that could've saved us both a lot of pain: Love yourself.
On my good days when I think about you, I feel like we could not be anymore different. On my worst days, I feel like I never really changed. Elementary school was especially hard on you; those were truly our loneliest times. You were always oversensitive (and still are), you immediately you felt like you didn't belong. Making friends was a real challenge, and if i recall correctly we didn't really even have many friends until the age of nine, and even then you still felt a little out of place. I remember the relief you felt after running home, switching on the television, and escaping in a half-hour episode of your favorite cartoon.
I wish I could tell you how amazing you are. There is nothing wrong with you, and there never has been. You are so creative, I wish I could be as imaginative as I was when I was you. I wish you knew that being bad at math didn't make you stupid, or that it's okay to be a little shy. I wish you didn't think you were a freak, or that you should give up on writing and drawing. I want to tell you that once you find your passions that you should hold on to them and never let go. I know you only quit what you love doing because you told yourself that you'll never be as good as the experts creating your favorite books or TV shows, but I wish I could tell you that no beginner starts out being the best, and that even as a beginner, you weren't half-bad. Most importantly, I wish I could say I'm sorry.
I'm sorry that your school experience was something you felt you needed an escape from. I'm sorry that it took a very long time for you to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm sorry I made you stop doing the things you love the most, I'm slowly but surely picking them back up and falling in love with them all over again. I'm sorry I was so mean to you; you're just a little girl and you didn't deserve to be treated that way. Most of all, I'm sorry that I didn't love you like I should have, and that sometimes I still don't.
Yours Sincerely,
Kate
