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To The Little Boy That Saved My Life

You're the jumpstart to my heart.

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To The Little Boy That Saved My Life
Elephant Journal- Claire Barlow

Dear Little Boy That Saved My Life,

Do you remember the first day we met? You were so young, so tiny, so afraid. Do you remember what I gave you? It was a bright stuffed animal version of Elmo. Do you remember what you gave me? You gave me hope. You gave me something to live for. When we met, I was at a very dark time in my life. I was diagnosed with a condition that I thought was going to end my life. In my mind, I was already dead. All of the family and loved ones in the world couldn't change my mood or help me feel any better about all of it. That's the day I met you. You had a head that was too big for your body, and you trembled in fear at every sight and sound. I remember the moment that you looked into my eyes. It completely shattered me inside. You broke my heart from the second I stared into those big, brown eyes. You were so beautiful to me. I didn't know how or why, but something about being broken by you felt so right.

Little Boy, do you know how you stole my heart? You stole it with your hopelessness. Your anger and your fear looked just like mine. I didn't think I had any reason to push forward, to keep living. I didn't let anyone in because no one needed to see that emptiness inside of me. As much as I tried to hide it, you saw me. You saw all of my hurt. You saw my tears, my shame, and my heart. Even after all of this, you accepted me and loved me even with my dark side. When I couldn't see any physical healing, you healed my heart. Every time your little hands held mine, I knew we were meant to be. I remember the pitter-patter of your little feet following behind me everywhere that I went. You brought me joy and you gave me life. Eating, painting, chasing, teaching, and playing with you are memories that I'll never ever forget. I helped you, and you helped me. Together, we began to heal each other. We gave each other love in the purest form. Our fight has been bloody. We've gone through so much. You deserve the world and so much more.

My dearest Godson, you are the only boy to which I have completely given my heart. You have made me so proud to call you mine. I am so happy to know that you will be in my life forever. We may have gotten to each other on dark paths, but I'm glad for the bond we share. You gave me a reason to live. You were dropped into my world to show me that there is beauty in the wreckage. You saved my life, and I am so glad that God gave me you. You are my light and for that, I am eternally grateful.

I Love You,

Neesha

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