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To The Heart I Broke—Again

Is it too late now to say sorry?

May 02, 2016

I know you have no reason to forgive me, or even read this—but I couldn't let these things go unsaid. I know what I did was stupid, and that I hurt you so many times, and I also know that “sorry” just won’t ever be enough. After everything, I am just thankful that you are still my friend—I hope.

So, I'm sorry.

I’m sorry for the countless times my actions have hurt you, I didn't know that you took everything to heart. I didn’t know how much I was hurting you when I chose someone else rather than you over and over again. And now I realize that I’ve left a deep cut. But, I also know that someone will help you heal your wounds—that person just won’t be me. I never wanted to hurt you- that wasn’t my goal—but I did.

I’m sorry if some nights you stayed up late trying to drink me away, and crying because I hurt you again. I'm sorry if you go outside and see something and it reminds you of me, because I know I should be the last person on your mind. I’m sorry for every time you try to move on, and I give you a reason not to. I’m sorry, I really am.

I’m sorry that you will never understand why I didn’t chose you, and chose your “best friend” instead. I know that it didn’t work out, and you warned me, but I didn’t listen. I'm complicated. I’m sorry for never giving you the chance to prove yourself to me, even though I know you would've treated me like a princess.

I’m sorry for the days where I didn’t want to talk to you because I was so caught up in my own life, when you were caught up in mine.

I’m sorry that you fell for me, and I didn't catch you. I’m sorry for the times your friends had to pick you up when you were down. I’m sorry for every shoulder you cried on, and none of them were mine. I’m sorry for the awful bruises I left. I never physically hit you, but I know I left a heartache that doesn’t stop hurting.

Please don’t hate me. Don’t regret me. But, if you can no longer keep me in your life, don’t. I want to be friends, but I understand that I am toxic to you. I’m sorry that I am okay and you're not. I’m sorry that you are reading this, and are hurting. But, it’s over. I want this to be a sense of clarity for you.

I’m sorry for everything I’ve put you through. Who knows, you might not even read this letter, but if you do, know that it is sincere. Maybe this letter isn’t for you to forgive me, but for me to finally forgive myself. I hope I haven't changed you so much, because trust me, if you treat someone how you treated me, and if they’re smart enough, they won’t ever let you go.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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