I never wanted this. I was with you because I believed in a fairy tale, that someone like you could ever care for a girl like me. A guy that knew who he was. A guy that I believed was too attractive to even look my way. A guy that genuinely gave me the time of day and made me believe I could be more than a fling or a fun night. A guy that put effort into knowing my friends and asking me about my day. But at the end, the truth is we are only who we see ourselves as – and I have never been a princess, but for a brief moment I almost believed I was.

That was my problem, believing. Believing that I could have something special with you, or anyone in general. I believed that you were different because you didn’t just tell me you were, but you acted it. Maybe you were just that, a really good actor, but I wish I knew this before because I would have put my stunt double in for this painful scene. I had no idea. I was the fool again, when you assured me I wouldn’t be. Yet here I am, writing something that you will never read because I know you can push the thoughts of me aside, but it’s not that easy for me.

I will never understand how someone can put so much effort in, just to let it fall apart, to ignore it ever occurred. To pretend like I no longer exist when at one point I was all that consumed your mind. I can honestly say I didn’t see this coming so soon, I thought that someone more convenient and enticing would be around your corner at some point. I’m not sure if that is the case right now or if you genuinely just stopped giving a d*mn.

Either way, it’s over, I deserve more than an electric fire in my life. Because once that power goes out, you’ve become worthless to me. I need something that I can rely on each day and that will grow to be bright and utterly inextinguishable, I need a wildfire – what you proved to not be. Although I know you will never be able to give me closure or even an explanation to why I suddenly was no longer relevant to you, I should thank you. Not for hurting me, but for showing me that it is possible to feel vulnerable and to have feelings for another person again. Not for not fighting for me as I had to make the decision to leave. For a while, I thought I would never get to that point with someone.

So in a way, thank you – for allowing me to fall. But I am sorry that one day soon you will see how much you messed up by letting me stay on the ground.