To my ex-best friend/boyfriend,
The short six months we spent as a couple were some of the best moments of my life. Until, I found out that most of it was a lie. You told me for months that you were over her and that all your feelings for her were gone. You told me that it was me who you wanted to be with and that we were perfect for each other. However, I should have known better than to believe you. I should have never agreed to date you. I should have left when I realized that we were fighting about her at least once a month. I should have known that the whole time we were together, you still loved her.
Sadly enough, I don’t blame you. How could you not love her? She’s pretty, smart, thin, athletic, devoted to God, and is well liked. She was the typical preppy, Starbucks lovin’, popular girl in high school and your typical national sorority girl in college. In the four and a half years we were best friends, she was the first girl you picked over me. Dating someone or not, you never had a problem telling other girls that I was your best friend and if they didn’t like that, that was their issue. Until she came along. When she came into the picture, you didn’t think twice about dropping me out of your life. She wanted you to let me go, so you did. She had you wrapped around her finger and you didn’t even know it.
I was stupid to let you back into my life after that. I should have never accepted your apology, but I was young, naïve and thought I needed you in my life in order to function properly. I won’t be making that mistake again. However, at the time, I was grateful that you were back in my life. I loved the relationship we had as friends.
The years we spent as best friends were probably some of my favorite years. You made high school great for me, for the most part. You hung out with me every day after school, knew everything about me, my family loved you and, most importantly, when I needed you there, you were there and vice versa. You taught me how to not take crap from anyone, introduced me to great music and taught me how to love myself again (well, you tried). It’s no wonder why everyone wanted us together, and for a short period of time, those people got their wish. I would say I feel sad that we didn’t last longer, but, honestly, I’m not. Not anymore.
When you left me because you realized you still loved her after seeing her go into a new relationship, I was devastated. I blamed myself for things that I shouldn’t have blamed myself for. I thought it was because I wasn’t pretty enough, thin enough, athletic enough or didn’t treat you well enough, even though I was giving our relationship and you everything that I had. Then, with the help of a couple of friends, a few months passed by and I finally realized that I wasn’t the issue. It was you.
I’m not the one who hurt my best friend. I wasn’t the one who asked for a second chance and then ruined a perfectly good friendship. I wasn’t the one who fell apart when I found out that my ex was dating someone else. I wasn’t the one who lied for six months about my feelings for my ex. I’m not the one who dated someone while having feelings for someone else. I’m not the one who still loves their ex.
Before we dated, I use to feel sorry that you two didn’t work out and that it ended badly. Even after we had broken up, I felt sorry that she had moved on. Then I felt sorry for you for not doing the same.
I’m doing better and a part of me hopes you’re doing well, too. I don’t have much to say to you anymore. The days when I cried about you are over, and the days when I missed you are done. I feel happier and that’s all that matters.
I’m sorry she no longer loves you.
However, I am not sorry that she and I now have that in common.
Love always,
Your happy ex
