The night of June 14, 2014, marked the beginning of what I later thought would make up the rest of my life. As I left my best friend’s house around midnight, I stopped at a red light next to a truck full of guys I recognized, but didn’t know too well. Knowing teenage boys and their shenanigans, and me looking like a girl their age, they shined their iPhone flashlights at me to see if they knew me. Not thinking much of it, I continued on my drive home.
Not long I after I pulled into my driveway, the guy who was in the bed of the truck had Facebook messaged me. The second I saw it, my heart dropped. This was the guy from one of our “brother” high school’s whom I had watched play basketball for the past few years and always had thought in my heart “If only he would ever like me." Little did I know, this simple Facebook message would later be what started this “Crazy, Stupid, Love” type journey with the guy I genuinely thought I would spend the rest of my life with. It was perfect, we lived within a minute of each other and from the first date at an accidental 3D movie where I refused to wear the glasses, to lazy summer days watching the World Cup, to endless Qdoba runs, I really was convinced this boy was absolutely the one for me.
Never had I ever met someone who made me smile so much it hurt, was so goofy it made me laugh so hard I’d cry, or someone who nonstop jokingly made fun of me so much I learned to love it. We shared every single thing about our lives and got each other through what were easily some of the hardest parts of our lives without a doubt. I trusted him with my entire heart and soul.
We all have that one relationship that we just cannot seem to let go of because it did, at one time, mean absolutely everything to us. For over a year, I felt trapped and absolutely smothered by my feelings for him. For so long, I repeatedly told myself, "This boy truly means the world to me, there’s no way I can live without him." I let things like manipulation and lying subside for just another night spent with him. Now I know 100 percent I was wrong. After you continuously telling me distance, (a three-hour drive), was the only thing holding you back from wanting to spend the rest of your life with me, I’m lucky to have met someone 1,600 miles, a 24-hour drive away, who has shown me that if you truly cared and loved me, you wouldn’t focus on convenience of being there for constant affection.
So thank you for pushing me away; now I am able to see the world differently and have finally found the type of happiness that I deserve.
I will continue to pray for you everyday, and will always cherish our memories and goofy jokes, but God has made it clear that he has better plans for both of us and it's up to us to take advantage of that.