Dear Ex-Boyfriend,

My high school years are stained with memories of you and me.

I never hung out with anyone else at school because my everything revolved around you. If I could go back and give my sixteen-year-old self, one piece of advice, I would have told myself to run. Ex-boyfriend, I wish you could have seen how hard it was for me to spend a week praying and debating on whether or not I was making the right decision in breaking up with you. I wish you knew how difficult it was for me to break the news to you in the parking lot of Panera. You never shed one tear. Shouldn’t that have told me something? That you were interested in another girl maybe? I’ll never know. All I do know is that I gave myself permission to destroy myself after you decided that after two years of us you would start dating your ex-girlfriend- three days after we broke up.

For so long, there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t think about you, think about us or think about the girl you’re with now. I never thought I’d be able to let someone in again. This breakup changed the way I viewed relationships in general. I just honestly never thought I’d be able to get into another one again. But it’s funny, though, now that I’m in a relationship again I’m different. I don’t want a replica of our relationship because after a year and a half I realize that while I thought we were a “power couple”, we were actually the furthest thing from that.

I’m not saying the entire thing was your fault because I’m not stupid, I know it wasn’t. But I’ve said sorry for the way I’ve acted. I apologized for the way I responded when I found out that you had a girlfriend before we even officially ended things. Where’s my “I’m sorry?”. I don’t think I’ve gotten one from you.

But you know what? I don’t think I need one anymore. I just want to thank you because for so long I never thought I’d be able to get over you. I didn’t think I’d be able to do what you did; replace you with someone so quickly. But look, I did. It's taken me a long time, but I’ve healed and I’ve grown from the mistakes of our relationship. But thank you, for everything. The fun times we had, and also the horrible way you treated me towards the end. No one really knows the details of how it ended but us, and I think that’s what sucks the most. I can’t put it into words for people; the way I felt, the way it actually happened. It’s all left in the past. Not even you could possibly know how I really felt either, about us ending.

Although I know it was the right choice, it doesn’t mean it was easy. None of it was. Letting you go, seeing you with her, and then having to learn how to do life without you. A lot of times I wonder if it was hard for you to do life without me, but then I remember you replaced me. Have you told her everything? Does she know about us, were you honest? I’m not sure and I don’t need to know. We are in the past now, and there are times when I do still think about you, but I don’t miss you.

I’m glad I’m finally in one piece, moving forward.

Love,